Melancholy Seed

Solehah itu cita-cita

2012-02-11T19:27:00.002+08:00

Wanita solehah itu aurat dijaga,
Pergaulan dipagari,
Sifat malu pengikat diri,
Seindah hiasan di dunia ini.

Rasulullah bersabda,

"Dunia ini adalah perhiasan, dan sebaik-baik perhiasan adalah wanita solehah". (HR Muslim).

Rasulullah bersabda,

"Dan sebaik-baik wanita ialah mereka yang boleh mengembirakan engkau apabila kamu melihatnya, dan yang mentaati kamu apabila kamu menyuruhnya, dan dia memelihara maruah dirinya dan harta engkau ketika ketiadaanmu". (HR Nasa'i, Baihaqi, Ahmad dan al-Hakim )

"wanita solehah itu lebih baik dari bidadari syurga.dan isteri solehah itu akan menjadi ketua bagi bidadari bidadari syurga. kamu mahu menjadi solehah?" soal ustazah sewaktu minggu orentasi sofful awwal. Sewaktu saya mula menjejak kaki ke halaman maahad yang permai.

"nak..!!" jawab kami. Ustazah tersenyum.

"kalau macam tu, usahalah jaga akhlak kamu.Rasulullah pernah bersabda, "Apabila seorang wanita menjaga solat lima waktu, berpuasa sebulan di bulan Ramadan, menjaga kehormatannya dan taat kepada suaminya, maka ketika berada di akhirat dikatakan kepadanya: Masuklah kamu ke dalam syurga dari pintu mana saja yang kamu suka". (HR Ahmad)"

"insyaAllah ustazah..!"

Kini saya dah dewasa. Bukan lagi murid tingkatan satu dahulu. Mungkin cita cita untuk menjadi seorang doktor tak kesampaian. Namun cita-cita sebagai seorang wanita solehah tetap hidup dalam diri. Kalau dulu saya hanya mengangguk kalau ada yang berpesan

"Nanti kamu jadi anak yang solehah ya. Yang sentiasa mendoakan kedua ibu bapanya"

Solehah yang ku hadam sebagai perempuan yang baik. mudah saja. ^^

Hari ini saya melihat dunia. Dunia realiti dan sebenar. Manalah perempuan yang baik itu. Susah untuk ketemu. Saya yang rasa dan pendam sendiri. Untuk menjaga hubungan antara lelaki dan perempuan. Untuk menjaga aurat. Untuk menjaga iman dan akal hati. Kadang kadang saya menangis sendiri.

"ya Allah susahnya mahu jadi solehah. bertalu talu aku di uji"

Firman Allah s.w.t. di dalam surah al-Jathiah, ayat 23: ertinya:
"Maka sudahkah kamu melihat orang yang menjadikan hawa nafsunya sebagai Tuhannya dan Allah membiarkannya sesat berdasarkan ilmunya. Dan Allah telah mengunci mati pendengaran dan hatinya dan meletakkan tutupan atas penglihatannya? maka siapakah yang mampu memberinya petunjuk setelah Allah (membiarkannya sesat)? mengapa kamu tidak mengambil pengajaran?"

Ku sapu air mata. Takut kalau Allah mengunci hati. Ahh.. Itu hanya mehnah kecil. Sedangkan Sumayyah di uji imannya dengan ujian yang maha dasyat! Kan wanita solehah itu kuat jiwanya! Teguh azamnya!

"Seorang muslimah sejati bukan dilihat dari kecantikan dan keayuan wajahnya semata-mata. Wajahnya hanyalah satu peranan yang amat kecil, tetapi muslimah sejati dilihat dari kecantikan dan ketulusan hatinya yang tersembunyi. Itulah yang terbaik."

Muslimah sejati juga tidak dilihat dari bentuk tubuh badannya yang mempersona, tetapi dilihat dari sejauh mana ia menutupi bentuk tubuhnya yang mempersona itu. Muslimah sejati bukanlah dilihat dari sebanyak mana kebaikan yang diberikannya, tetapi dari keikhlasan ketika ia memberikan segala kebaikan itu. Muslimah sejati bukanlah dilihat dari seberapa indah lantunan suaranya tetapi dilihat dari apa yang sering mulutnya bicarakan. Muslimah sejati bukan dilihat dari keahliannya berbahasa, tetapi dilihat dari bagaimana caranya ia berbicara dan berhujah kebenaran.

Ketahuilah muslimah sejati bukan dilihat dari keberaniannya dalam berpakaian tetapi dilihat dari sejauh mana ia berani mempertahankan kehormatannya melalui apa yang dipakainya.

Muslimah sejati bukan dilihat dari kekhuwatirannya digoda orang di tepi jalanan tetapi dilihat dari kekhuwatirannya dirinyalah yang mengundang orang tergoda. Muslimah sejati bukan dilihat dari sifat mesranya dalam bergaul tetapi dilihat dari sejauh mana ia mampu menjaga kehormatan dirinya dalam bergaul. Muslimah sejati bukanlah dilihat dari seberapa banyak dan besarnya ujian yang ia jalani tetapi dilihat dari sejauh mana ia menghadapi ujian itu dengan penuh rasa redha dan kehambaan kepada TUHAN nya,dan ia sentiasa bersyukur dengan segala kurniaan yang diberi.

Solehah bukan lah mudah. Namun ia bukanlah mustahil. Selagi menjaga ibadah, menjaga kehormatan dan taat kepada suami.

Abu Hurairah berkata Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda :

"Apabila mati seorang anak Adam itu maka terhentilah amalnya kecuali 3 perkara:- Sedekah yang berjalan terus (sedekah amal jariah), ilmu yang berguna dan terus diamalkan dan anak yang soleh yang mendoakan baginya"

Cukuplah kesolehahan ku membawa kebahagiaan buat kedua wali ku dunia dan akhirat.

** Madah Untuk Wanita Solehah

Notakaki: Jom kita meneliti sejarah isteri-isteri Nabi kita dan wanita wanita solehah agar menjadi inspirasi bagi kita untuk terus bercita cita menjadi yang solehah.. ^^

- Artikel ILuvIslam

Batu Feringghi (1)

2012-02-07T09:36:00.010+08:00

Hello and Assalamualaikum.

I'll make this post short. Being in a different weather every time I stepped out and into the bus, now I am having a fever -__- good thing was I managed to get some sleep yesterday inside the bus.

Anyways, this trip was probably the most memorable I had so far with my current classmates. Its not just about enjoying ourselves fully, but we didnt for

get to celebrate Maulidur Rasul too as we had a campfire b

eside the beach on Saturday night. Few of us shared their stories, personal experience and so on..which definitely made this trip to be so memorable. Im glad I met these people :')

Banyak kan bas, semua nak pergi berholiday

RnR Simpang Pulai

The looong bridge

Yeah dah sampai beach. hehe

Subhanallah ^_^

Nadiana and Anis :)

Semua sumpah excited. haha

gambar lompat tak jadi. haha

-___-'

Excited bebenor -__-

^__^

Sebelah malam pula..

Trying to start the fire

dah siap :)

dah kenyang :D

Listening to tazkirah by Firdaus

To be continued :)

Iridescent

2012-02-03T18:37:00.007+08:00

Salam and good evening.

Lets start this entry with a peaceful mind and heart. Lets remove all the dark spots on our heart that we created just before with Zikrullah.

Done?

Good :)

Alhamdulillah, I praise to Allah for allowing me to breathe His fresh air without any single cent paid to Him. Truthfully, previous weeks was like a roller coaster ride. With lots of suspense and thrills, knowing if we could survive the jetplane journey, even if a ride only lasted like 5-10 minutes, oui? But you get the idea somehow.

Emotions played a big big role, only God knows how I deal with it rationally. And I was fighting the my own darkside so much, that I felt so ashamed.

In the end, patience is all I have. Theres nothing else I could do aside from being patient.

Im confident that theres an outcome from all these occuring events. I thank Allah for rewarding with me such patience, imagine if I dont have it, even you wouldnt want to think what I could do right? With iman, insyaAllah patient will be with you for the rest of your life, based on my personal experience actually.

I take our Prophet as an example. During his time in spreading Islam towards the Quraisy community, he experienced endless and extreme hardships. He was the Messenger of Allah and it was his role to convey Islam to other human beings. It was his responsibility and look at what we have now. Islam is one of the major religion across the world and able to attract non-muslim to become a Muslim. We should really appreciate Rasulullah SAW for what he had done for us.

via Facebook. Jazakallah Kak Wardina

Thats our Prophet, yang bersifat maksum. Menerima segala kesusahan dan hinaan, malah tidak pernah give up dalam menyebarkan ajaran Islam. Thats because he has this ultimate patience, and he believes in Allah so much, his faith really is indescribable. Comparing to what I have been through, mashaAllah apalah sangat nak dibandingkan dengan ujian yang Rasulullah lalui. Kan? Rasulullah SAW really motivates me in a way. I love you, Rasulullah, you should too :D

@deviantart

There, I feel slightly better. Ive accomplished several things week, and I am definitely relieved by it. Presentation for CTU done, proposal for Penang trip done (eventhough we had so many difficulties in making the trip to be possible, as usual I was like at wits end since I am the organizer) and I'm excited to highlight on this part, that is, I was planning on a diet (slap me if u want) so I decided not to eat rice from Monday until Friday. Eventhough something had happened until I decided to eat rice today, I am very satisfied even if its for 4 days. Lol. So much for a diet huh?

InsyaAllah I'll be heading to Batu Feringghi tomorrow with le classmates. Do pray for our safety. Amin.

Now I'm off to pack, stop 9GAG-ing as it is really addictive :/

Exit the Adversity

2012-01-13T17:03:00.008+08:00

"Keep ambitions high, in front of God and people, Your credibility will be in proportion to your ambitions"

— Couplet, by Mawlana Faizani

Right now, I should be thinking about what I should be in the future, an ambition that is to be specific. The phase one of UPU has just opened for application, and I still need to buy the ID. I should go through all the courses available, along with my qualification for sem 1 and MUET. Speaking of MUET, congrats to those who got distinctions, whatever 'band' it is. Anyways, Im making a short observation on some people that I encountered lately. It can be anyone that I know. For sure, these people have inspired me a lot, especially in terms of their profession or ambition. Is it not the same thing? It is right. To achieve this equilibrium of life, of course, education is definitely important.

It all started with a simple learning. Knowledge is vital for every one of us to hold, its something what the society would look out in ourselves. We all know how important education is. We all know how learning ABC is the basic process of learning. Sometimes, knowledge isn't always attainable from books, but from life experiences, observation and moral values. We all know that a normal human would spend almost a decade in going through their stages of education, for instance in Malaysia, after their primary school exam aka UPSR, they will spend another 3 years for PMR, which in this phase qualifies the student to be either in arts stream or pure-science stream. Last but not least, SPM. This is probably the exam of life. The exam that torture most of the students, where we were pressurized by teachers and parents, prob by the minister of education too. We became their hopes, in creating a new generation for the future. We are the ones that should continue our leader's legacy. Anyways, Being in a boarding school, honestly we have to think about 3 things : parents, teachers, SCHOOL. We must at least compete among other residential schools and this is the part where we are bound to feel tensed. It was all based on my personal experience so our perspectives would differ. Anyways, SPM really determines

the path of life. Pass with distinctions, get qualified for a scholarship and study for the right field for years, graduate and find a job. There, future secured!

Since these things start with education, personally, I think learning process is never easy. I faced many ordeals throughout my studying years. I don't simply understand on the spot when teacher is deriving a formula, and not really helpful when our lecturers teach us like the speed of light, which will lead to sleepiness, going on Twitter or Facebook (lol). Why? Because I was not born to be genius like Nur Amalina or Sufiah (who both have shocked the nation with their own issues). I was born to strive, achieve for the best. Even if its not the best, malays would say 'cukup-cukup makan'. And that is why, we muslims are obligated to seek knowledge, apply for what we have yet to learn and what outcomes can we achieve from the knowledge. And intention or 'niat' is so so important. Sincerity, whether it is potrayed or not, somehow we have to achieve it. I would ask myself, what is my intention in studying, over and over again. Until I decided to write it on the post-it-notes and stick it on my wall, so that everyday I am reminded. The only thing that pops in my mind about intention is Allah, parents and Islam. InsyaAllah, God will ease your journey. The reason to have the right 'niat' is simply because we would want a blessing from Allah, in everything that we do. Doing something for the sake of Allah and it brings contentment in you. The feeling is just beautiful right?

This however is a personal observation, as I have developed to become such an observant person these years -_-, somehow it relates to a person who does not perform his/her role as a muslim, or in other words part-time muslim. Of course, who am I to judge or label the person like that. But, I just feel that sometimes its unfair for those who tried hard in becoming a good muslim despite being a student in a very challenging environment, seeing those who are 'part time' muslims and still, able to pursue their dreams, make their parents proud and they were happy. Even small little things I would measure from these type of people, and they seem not to be aware of it, or just didnt know. But then again, events in life do happen for a solid reason. Allah knows what His servants needs, even if it seemed different or wrong from our perspective, yet we, you and I shouldn't question the fate. He plans everything in a flow, even if we have to strive, pray and tawakal, still He has laid out the path that we should walk, appreciating the essence of patience, and waiting for the right time to arrive.

I am always optimistic, but sometimes when failures in any form fall to your hands like a raindrop from the sky, it is really bitter and painful. Sometimes I would always think I was born to become a failure. I have to fail first, then I would succeed ,its like a sequence. Why can't I just be like those people who rarely fails in everything that they do, smoothly as it is, everything meets its expectation, or when they didn't put so much effort but in the end, the outcome is just pretty much better than those who put on a lot of hard work.

These occurences, really made me think deep, as I can go. And sometimes, it failed me to create an imaginary future, to predict without having uncertainties. Yes, I love imagining, people. Its a normal hobby for an eighteen year old..I think.

What I Iearnt so far is,
You fail, you succeed.
You fall, you get back up.

In conclusion, its like a repercussion, a reaction, plus comm

on sense. Just patience that matters the most. Rightio?

" O you who believed, seek help with patience, perseverance and prayer. For Allah is with those who patiently persevere" - Al-Baqarah ( 2 : 153 )

" No one will be granted with such goodness except those who excercise with patience and self-restraint, none but the persons of the greatest good fortune" Al - Fussilat (41: 35)

Lets not make the world our biggest concern shall we?

Oh~

2012-01-08T10:19:00.003+08:00

Bonjour mes amis~

A lovely morning.

Got up at ****, Allah gave me an MC for a few days, so I have a reason to wake up slightly a little bit later than the usuals :p and not a morning person too heehee.

Got myself cleaned, washed and dressed. Its Sunday, so time to do all the chores left undone, though I already washed my clothes via washing machine yesterday. So today is only 'lipat kain' and spring-cleaned the room which is full of dusts everywhere.

And AlMathurat to ease this troubled mind of mine, lately.

I felt the cold morning breeze twirling in my face. Its a sign, that

somehow this day, I'll be good friends with the nature. Because the nature itself have no feelings, live by their functions and obeys their Creator, mostly.

One thing Im very certain for now is, I have thrown away the key to the door, miles and miles away. So that no one can find it, even myself. Sick and tired definitely, and I dont think Im up for it anymore. I dont want my focus to be distorted and didnt see it coming. So now its locked, will remain locked until I decided to find the key back.

Nestum and Oats flapjack, a simple breakfast.

Good Day ;)

First and foremost, 2012

2012-01-06T15:34:00.015+08:00

Salam and evening.

Currently, having a bad fever. Night time is the most critical period where I sneeze non-stop and looking like a person who just cried for a year. Lol.

Well, just a small fever and haven't had it for a few months, I should be thankful right..heehee.

Anyways, its the new year of the 21st century, I guess its not too late for me to wish right?

So Happy New Year! :) New year, new blessings, let the past leave us in small trails of memories and hoping for the best of tomorrow!

I just realised that Melancholy Seed is now 6 years old o.O

Just want to share or highlight a few things or events that somehow made 2011 a quite meaningful year.

- A school leaver, official yeh yeh

Brassidium 2 09/10

- Alhamdulillah, the most precious gift given by Allah for now, SPM

- P-license holder ( trying not to even THINK of those crappy times where I failed the test)

mr google bagi hikhik

- A kindergarten teacher! This part, I very like. It is because I gained experience in teaching UpinIpin'ers, developing a loving and caring plus sensible attitude around them..eh sorry terperasan kejap. Wakaka

- First timer on formal interviews eg. scholarship.

(this picture doesn't exist)

- A university student - exposure of more hectic life eg. assignments, lab reports, tutorials, term paper and so on. Time management, social skills, discipline, consistency of academic performance and punctuality, all are very important. Lack one of these, I think I'll end up myself in big big trouble. True story lol

- Umi and Baba did their hajj, syukur syukur, separating from parents for 1 month and 2 weeks is really scary T_T

- Terengganu with dear dormmates, it was a memorable trip with them definitely :)

Taman Tamadun Islam

- My 18th birthday. Dunno why o.O

My very own 18th birthday cheesecake, made by Umi. The bestest in the world.

- Lastly, Friends. I made new friends through Facebook, Blogger, interviews, MDS, Kindergarten, UiTM Puncak Alam..and thats about it I think. Allow me to stress on this part. I think I met so many new people last year, that I somehow got a little bit carried away. By this, its trust. I was naive in meeting new people especially via the virtual world, didn't set barriers and I trust them easily, like they were the best people I met, YET. It didn't occur to me that I actually got into a mess of some unwanted or unknown businesses, which of course affected me slightly. I was thankful that finally I was out of the muddled-up situation and for that, I was more careful in believing words or actions. Because that particular moment can turn up anytime, and probably wasting my time worrying about whats my next step, what I should respond and bla bla. So, no more of that I hope please. I have no time in wasting your time dispersing out things I do not want to hear especially if it has nothing to do with me. Comprehende? But then again looking on the bright side, not all humans are like that. I am thankful once again that I met a few people who actually changed the way I think about life and its branches, the purpose of this and that, and most importantly, the people who brought me closer to Allah of course. A million thanks to them, although hidayah is owned by Allah, but it is given to us as a guidance, something we should hold onto for the rest of our lives. My apologies if I had hurt anyone's feelings instantaneously when reading this.

So I think thats about it.

Events coming up after this, Test 1; Asasi Night;Penang Excursion; Test 2 ; Study week ; finals. bestnya heehee.

Define time? Above here is what 'time' means. Fast and escapes without a trace :)

Thank you UmiBaba&sibling, friends, teachers, relatives, muslims from all over the globe for making 2011 a meaningful year for me. May Allah bless and place us all together in Jannah, ameen.

I am a traveler seeking the truth, a human searching for the meaning of humanity and a citizen seeking dignity, freedom, stability and welfare under the shade of Islam. I am a free man who is aware of the purpose of his existence and who proclaims: “Truly, my prayer and my sacrifice, my living and my dying are all for Allah, the Lord of the worlds; no partner has He. This, am I commanded and I am of those who submit to His Will.” This is who I am. Who are you?

- Imam Shaheed Hassan Al Banna

Fly like the wind

2011-12-27T14:46:00.005+08:00

Tok Guru's house at Pulau Melaka, very green

Good Day :)

*back to Rawang tomorrow.

Aku cantik

2011-12-23T01:30:00.002+08:00

Aku ingin jadi cantik.

Aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang cantik.

Aku ingin cantikkan akalku dengan ilmu yang bermanfaat.

Aku ingin cantikkan hatiku dengan iman dan takwa kepada Allah semata-mata.

Aku ingin cantikkan hatiku dengan rasa cinta yg utama pada Allah dan mencintai kerana Allah.

Aku ingin cantikkan tubuh badanku dengan tutupan kain yang longgar dan tebal.

Aku ingin cantikkan mataku dengan menundukkan pandangan.

Aku ingin cantikkan bibirku dengan tutur kata yang sopan dan banyakkan zikrullah.

Aku ingin cantikkan wajahku dengan perasaan malu dan senyuman.

Aku ingin cantikkan langkah kakiku dengan mengunjungi tempat ibadah dan majlis-majlis ilmu.

Aku ingin cantikkan kulitku dengan mandi wajib dan wudhu' yang sempurna.

Aku ingin cantikkan rambutku dengan litupan kain tudung yang labuh.

Aku ingin cantikkan jari jemariku dengan menghulurkan sedekah jariah.

Aku ingin cantikkan telingaku dengan mendengar alunan ayat-ayat suci Allah.

Aku ingin cantikkan tangan dan kakiku dengan taat dan bekerja kerana Allah.

Aku ingin cantikkan perutku dengan puasa dan memakan makanan yang halal dan berkhasiat.

Aku ingin cantikkan akhlakku dengan mencontohi akhlak Rasulullah SAW.

Aku ingin cantikkan sentuhanku dengan menyentuh hanya yang halal.

Aku ingin cantikkan suaraku dengan tidak mendayu-dayukan ia di hadapan lelaki bukan muhrim.

Aku ingin cantikkan pandanganku dengan mengambil iktibar atas setiap pandangan.

Aku ingin cantikkan amarahku dengan niat kerana Allah.

Aku ingin cantikkan ketegasanku dengan kelembutan.

Aku ingin cantikkan kepimpinanku dengan kejujuran.

Aku ingin cantikkan persaudaraanku dengan keikhlasan.

Aku ingin cantikkan rinduku dengan titipan doa yang tulus ikhlas.

Aku ingin jadi seorang perempuan yang cantik.

Semoga Allah mengizinkan, ameen.

courtesy of Sis Sakinah Aziz's blog.

Recalling moments called Memories

2011-12-09T23:02:00.004+08:00

Memories.

Something we possess, for the time being, from the past and sooner, the future. For every stage in life that we fly through, it is a memory that one should treasure and remember. Why am I actually pertaining memories as the subject? Maybe I have been through many good and bad past-times that sometimes I feel like owning a time machine. So I can travel back to all those moments, where I could only think of being myself, as happy and colorful as a rainbow. One of God's best creation is surely the rainbow, which will paint a smile on my face everytime I witness one after a shower from Mr.Cloud. Hoho. Anyways, back to the topic. Recently, I saw some old photos of mine lying around the house and wondering why is it not in the album. Oh well. The photos were the little and naive me back in England. I was fairer (T_T) and slimmer (T_T) and of course I look like small girl, not a teenager ^^. Those years were the best probably for my entire living life, including 2 years growing up at Indianapolis. For now, I'm eightteen and I think its still early to judge about how my living years has been right? I should look forward to graduating, get a job and career, finding the Perfect One, getting married, build my own Baitul Muslim, watch my kids grow and my husband aging, getting promoted for my job...and the list goes on and on. But then again, we have the power to plan, while the Almighty has the power to decide. Whatever it is, He gives the best among the best, and I should wait, be thankful for what I have now.

If you know me, once a had a memory with me, I surely do treasure those times. Do not worry, for I will never (insyaAllah) forget all those moments we created together. You are now a part of my life. Even if it had left a scar on me, a wound that can never be treated or cleaned, I let go of it and move on. Moving on isnt easy, and people say time heals. So it does really. In the end, I look on the bright side, think of the hikmah behind it. Allah really does know the best after all :)

In conclusion, my life is still a long way to go, a neverending journey. The last stop of the journey would be?

Take a guess :D

(serious and positive ones please)

Song of the day :

Paradise - Coldplay

Now..back to books.

Maal Hijrah 1433

2011-11-28T14:04:00.003+08:00

@FarahAs's blogspot

Salam.

New Year, new blessings, new resolutions. But I'll keep it to myself eventually.

One word that suits right now is, BERMUJAHADAH.

I may not look GOOD, act GOOD in anybody's eyes. I have my own weaknesses that still cannot be repaired, I'm weak and sensitive, my Iman goes up and down, I feel guilty easily, I'm easily distorted and the list goes on and on..but 1433 Hijr is a space where I can make amends with myself with all these things. Plus, lets not dwell on the past, because thats the reason why sometimes it's so hard for me to move on.

The chance has already been given. So everyone, lets use it wisely and to the fullest?

Barakallahufikum!

Good news, they're back this weekend. Allah has protected them throughout their pilgrimage period, syukur!

New semester, new motivation

2011-11-24T21:48:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Here I am..back to where I should be, permanently for the next 5 months. Fret not, I am super and highly motivated to start second semester. This week seems to be quite heaven, with classes cancelled, dismissed early and many more. Some lecturers remained the same, which is good. CTU's lecturer is so cool. Ustaz tu hehe. Our syllabus is focused more on Islam and Science, very interesting indeed :D Now it is 1206 am. I should be ironing my clothes for tomorrow or sleep. Chemistry tutorial halfway done as I got a little bit carried away doing window-online-shopping. Arghh I've so many things to buy on my wishlist yet I should love my money and be thrifty. But its really hard.

KPT bila awak nak masuk ni . . . . .

SABAR, JANGAN BOROS, BUY THE NEEDS, NOT THE GREEDS.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.

Anyways, back to the new semester. Lol. It is the 4th day of our second semester too. The timetable is really packed, I mean on Tuesday there is no break from 830 to 320. No gap for lunch or Zohor prayer :( I guess time plays an important role now, and signifies me not to waste it -_- and on Wednesday, night class for Biology. I have always adored Biology, but it doesnt feel the same way I as did. Hmm sad right. Since yesterday was our official first class, coursemates seemed to be very thrilled and energetic, and hyped throughout the whole class. Blimey, I was really annoyed by it.

Wondering about Saufi and Abrar, I hope they're doing fine without me. Saufi cried immediately and quietly when I left home. Im coming home tomorrow guys, welcome your tatak nicely okay. Not with tarik-tarik tudung or baju or malicious attacks. Karang dua-dua aku humban ke laut haha.

All in all, glad to have the spirit and energy back. Just focusing on one aim, I hope nothing distorts it. Please let me have the moment of triumph this time :( I promise insyaAllah I'll be good and istiqamah too.

Dian Pelangi, young-muslim indonesian fashion designer, pretty right? :)

One more thing, Breaking Dawn in cinemas today. Hi from far :'(

Night breeze tonight. Love it <3

Finally you're 3 ^^

2011-11-15T17:47:00.007+08:00

Salam

Thanks for all those bites, bruises, hair-pulling, tickling, saliva (ewwww), and many more T_T

Lets go through the little brat's timeline :D

@ masih bulan-bulan, @ 2 tahun nak solat :D @

Banyak kan perbezaannya. Masa baby everytime rasa macam nak tampor-tampor je pipi labuh.

I seriously feel like a mother. The hack!

Oh yeah, I attended a talk at Masjid Cahaya Iman this morning, and the penceramah was Imam Muda Nazrul. Title : Terdidik Wanita, Terdidik Generasi ^^.

The man is very very and absolutely charming. At first he seemed quite shy, but as he go along, he's very friendly and easy to blend in with the guests. His message is conveyed directly and he refered to quite a lot of kitabs from what I can see. Plus, suara dia sedap bila berzikir.

Dah lama tak pergi majlis ilmu, kinda miss it.

Evening guys..

One fine evening...

2011-11-10T16:17:00.010+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

When the mind is subtle state...I see no reason why I should emphasize on the mind while the real problem is, trying to find a way to be productive while on semester break. Wehehe.

So here's the story. I did some spring cleaning in my bedroom. To be frank, my bedroom is easily dusted *rimas rimas*. Maybe because there's 2 antique beaureau table which belonged to me and sis. It was a condusive place to study during lower form years. But not once I entered boarding school and UiTM. The lovely heaven bed is just beside the beaureau. So...I guess I should not fret more on that haha -__- but as they say it, home sweet home! Just love being at home and sleeping in your own bed :)

Anyways, just I mentioned about spring-cleaning. So I found, or more to 'discover' old old silly stuff that I had since I was in primary school.

And..cleaning the dust from bookshelf. Books were left untouched for many years, just new books adding on.

@Tatty Teddy card given by 9 Black, when I left England for good. @ My fave Science Teacher, Ms Wolkowski :')

@ My collection diaries/notebook since err 2003? Browsing through, I realised I was really stupid, silly and immature -.- and slightly creative :P

@ Collection greetings cards (Eid, Birthday, Good Luck, Xmas )

You see this blue book here, was given by these people in the pictures IN the book. It has all the wishes and messages from all my friends of Year 9 in Abraham Moss, including The Malays also. What can I say, they appreciate me :) My friends back then were mostly Arabics, Pakistanis and Africans. Not many English friends, as AMHS is 75% asians. Lol.

Me and sisters silent entertainment collection.

@ From HarryPot, Goosebumps, Meg Cabot's Princess Diaries to Mary-Kate and Ashley *zaman tak matang*

Confession : Never read HarryPot. My imaginations doesnt synchronize well according to the book. Such a waste buying it -_-

Selamat Petang! Mari makan goreng pisang jom :D

Incandescence

2011-11-07T22:37:00.007+08:00

Salam

Firstly, I'd like to clarify about my semester 1 results since a lot people have been provoking me with annoying questions. So this will shut you up. LOL. : Alhamdulillah :) I need to strive harder for Sem 2 insyaAllah since it was slightly out of my target. But I believe Allah is testing me, or simply as a punishment for endless sins. Must istiqamah like before, whatever happens I have to keep my faith in Allah, make amends for my previous mistakes. Maybe I got a little carried away, but I truly learnt my lesson. Thanks for the wishes and motivations from some people. I heart them.

courtesy of Facebook,

We muslims, our mighty weapon is to pray. In any plights or conditions. In hard times, we seek Him, for he is the Best Protector. In good times also, praise and be thankful. Pray that we wont stray far from His gifts because thats what I usually do. Make something useful and good out of it. If we want something, just ask. If its not meant to be granted, picture above will make you and I realize :) Imagine if our rewads and sins are visible? We're able to see them? Like if we have some kinda meter to measure them, hm this may seem absurb right. We could probably control ourselves. But then, that just seems impossible, for things were created with specific functions and reasons.

@ Dakwah Doodle, Facebook

Motivated much? Absolutely! All in all, we are just slaves, we ask and put on hopes on our requests. The hope is somehow turned down, and your devastated. Well this cute picture says it all right? Anyways, I tried not looking and hanging by the past. Because somehow I truly overthink of the past. Overthinking damages your mind -.- so dont overthink! Reminder to self.

Sabar itu memenatkan, redha itu merehatkan.- Illy's tumblr. Subhanallah.

Night.

Excursion, expect the unexpected

2011-10-30T00:25:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum and greetings.

Kaki bagai nak menggeletar setelah hampir satu hari berjalan-jalan menikmati keindahan ciptaan tuhan. Oh yes, expect the unexpected, last minute plan of joining little brother's excursion to the so-called city that never sleeps, Kolumpo (bak kata Baba).Penat sungguh minggu ini kerana diri ini terpaksa membuat banyak decision untuk kebahagiaan adik-adik. Cis nak jugak puitis. Maka diri ini meng-volunteerkan untuk menemani si adik tercinta, menjadi salah seorang penyibuk dengan muka tak malunya, dan bertuah sebab disponsor oleh pihak tadika. Seriously, that tadika rocks!

Saufi dahla demam, Wanalang dengan Ibu tak nak lepaskan, but seeing and begging you crying like that, I can't bear it. Terpaksa la pergi jugak teman dia and he was not that cheerful as well! Until when we went into Planetarium and entered the globe theatre, the lights were out. Therefore it was pitch black and I was still trying to find our seat, when suddenly I saw Saufi crying and he ran to me, saying 'Nak balik, nak balik, takuttt gelap'. Haish ini budak, sabor jele~. In the end he sat with his teacher and indeed I was not allowed to be with him, it'll provoke him to be more pampered. Poor Saufi 0.O The best thing is, while I was browsing through Sheikh Muzaffar's journey to ISS, Umi called from Mecca! She calls almost everyday, mainly because she misses Saufi and Abrar :) and talked to Saufi, he seemed happy :)

Saufi, you better find me a good husband for this when you grow up!

Oh yeah, I made friends with these two little girls, anak Ustaz. Very obedient and we made a small gang lols :p

Kakak Zakiah @Planetarium, @Muzium Negara Lagu Negaraku translated into English o.O

Adik, Nurin, Kakak @Masjid Wilayah, @ Yours truly :]

Depan Masjid Wilayah, Saufi adikku very gloomy -__-

Aww rindu Az-Zahra la :'(

Sumpah budak-budak yang 4 tahun ni pakai tudung comel sangat!

Okay, tidur dulu!

New drug

2011-10-25T23:08:00.003+08:00

Salam.

Err hi. I just wanna say that I am officially obsessed with this :

Aint the Gossip Girl type, prefer these ones better. And it comes from a book which I just discovered. Kinda too late to buy the books, since it has 8 series. So I shall continue with episode 7 now :D

Abrar and Saufi already sleeping soundly *big relief* and lets just hope tomorrow will be a vibrant/energetic day for me insyaAllah :)

p.s I miss you, Umi and Baba. Come home quick...

Que Sera Sera

2011-10-19T12:51:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Apa habaqqqq semua wanita-wanita di luaq sannaaaaaa?
Udah lame teman tak dengor khabo berite aih, mike sehat ke?
Eden bosan bonar duduk rumah ni
Kawe dah beli Nasi Kerabu!
Mung ni, make Nasi Dagang lagi berehh!

EPIC FAIL HAHAHAHA @_@

Kays what a bad bad introduction for this post. I think I failed in faking for every single dialect there, I know it makes no sense at all and the words just doesnt fit in with the sentence haha. Dont mind me, and truly my bad -_-

Im currently counting days until mes parents are scheduled to fly to the most sacred and holy place on earth that is Mecca. And I am also counting days to become a supersister. I can do it oh yeahh *do the move it move it dance moves*

Anyhow, I was and still am bored for today. So I decided to take D40 o ut, havent touched it since ages ago and took a few pictures at home. Several things I accomplished for today like completing a puzzle with Abrar and Kakak bibik, woke up after being scolded by Baba at 720 (eurghh so not a morning person), dressed saufi for school and menumis bawang putih hehehe.

Pictures will 'hias' my post for today :)

My eerie-looking bedroom o.O

Mums out-of-bounds/restricted area/no-entry showroom

wall of fame. teehee, spot me :P

Look at the missing puzzles -_-

Umi suruh tulis kat paper all the wishes or duas that needed to be granted, she will read it at Kaaba nanti. Malu la nak tulis >.<

Good Day mon cherie :)

Todays story

2011-10-11T15:35:00.004+08:00

Salam

Well gladly to say I have endured this day! Meaning I have done my MUET's speaking test this morning. It was a big big relief because the feeling is kinda like the same when going for the JPA interview, just less nervous because its MUET -.- Surprisingly, there was only 16 people, and half of them is already Puncak Alam students, although I've never actually seen them in campus. Lonely much? Nah! Because the 16-people factor that kinda calmed me, sebab tak ramai orang. Muehehe.

Anyhow, the topic was 'Challenges faced by students when studying abroad'. Not a bad one, I mean no specific facts need, mostly opinion-based points. But I so do not know why my hands were trembling while jotting down the points -.- and not to forget, I pronounced residential school as 'reshidential school' and culture shock as 'culshure shock'. What on earth laaa -.-. So now speaking test passed, waiting for the next testssss coming up on 19 November.

How in the world can I miss events like these, God Forbid. . . .for the past few years I was in Malaysia, I was always updated with any bookfairs and I will beg Bebare on his knees if he doesnt let me. So I'm still planning, when and who. . .though the timing wouldnt be perfect :(

My current wishlist :

Hitler much?

Romance, why nottt, A soldier and his lover

This is for real. A real lifetime story!

And this one surely has got nothing to do with WW1&2, but I read and watched I am no 4 before back in P.A, anticipated to read this one! Alex Pettyfer *_*

Tak boleh nak banyak lagi ke -__-

k BYE.

Guess what?

2011-10-10T22:00:00.003+08:00

SALAM

I am officially late for updating and I procrastinate, I ran out of ideas during this holiday eventhough it has only been a week. Anyways, I've finally finished my first semester at Puncak Alam, like a week ago. Alhamdulillah. And I went through the battle of examinations errr yeah battle. Lets pray that I'll pass with distinctions and hopefully continue for the second semester insyaAllah. But I still dont have the slightest idea on what should I do for my future. Suggestions anyone?

Newsflash 1 : I have MUET tomollow. Err seriously the speaking test only takes about 30 minutes of your life, yes your life but I think it will last like forever. Did our practice with Madam Khadijah and I loved it when I did it with my group but, Ill be meeting strangers tomorrow, takut la kalau terlebih cakap ke apa pastu merepek sampai dorang pun tak paham :( aishhh. I did some idea brainstorming since 8, but in the end I was bored and ran out vocabs plus ideas. Whatever it is, I will endure the day!

Newsflash 2 : Alhamdulillah, Umi and Baba is ready to perform their hajj this year. It was the wish of their life, and I didnt stop praying for them. At first they were not listed in the group this year, but oh well Allah's power to do whatever He wants :) So umm yeah had the daughter-parent talking yesterday about harta pusaka, responsibility and all that. So I finally come to realize that I'll be without them for 42 days. InsyaAllah that wont be a problem for me, but Saufi and Abrar? They're quite young to feel the sadness and I have to be a extra good to them from now on, so that they wont feel lonely nor experiencing any loss at such a young age. I have to prepare for upcoming possibilities or the worst that could happen, like Bebare stated before eventhough I was being positive all the time.

InsyaAllah they'll be flying next week and be back by December, insyaAllah too.

What sucks is when the school holidays are just about to start, I have to head back to Puncak Alam for sem 2. So there goes Nurul, Saufi and Abrar without me, and without my parents. Their condition is what Im worried about most, Im scared to leave them and its 10 days until Umi&Bebare are back from Mecca. So 10 days, hopefully wouldnt be long. Not to forget Nina having her SPM examination while theyre gone? So everyone kinda play a part now, I just hope I have everyone's back. Thank Allah because I am on my semester break, perfect timing for this year.

Umi's birthday, which I missed -_-

Night lovess :)

That something in your magnetism

2011-10-10T16:23:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

FINALLY ITS COMPLETED! :)

My Evernight Series, NERD GEEK I KNOW :P and guess what, Afterlife was a birthday present from my darling Hazirah Wazir, unexpected yesssss! I wanted to buy this book, but just no chance at all.

Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless your life sis :') Loves youuu :*

Sorry, terpaksa letak hehe.

Song of the day (credits to Azyan S) :

Fingers dimming in the lights

like your used to being told that you're trouble

and I spent all night

stuck on the puzzle

- Stuck on the puzzle, Alex Turner

Distraction

2011-09-27T18:17:00.003+08:00

Salam

.....something I discovered from the other side of me lately. Hindi songs o.O
Melayan perasaan and absorbing the 'feel' the whole lyric of this song especially.

Dont ask why please -__-

Anyways, four papers were done for the time being alhamdulillah. Though many distractions and challenges came. Examples are sleepiness, tiredness, brainlessness, loss-of-appetite-ness and many more. I cant wait until these days are over, free for 1 month and 2 weeks -__- So lets fight till the end! Oh yeah Subhanallah!

:)

Ya Rab

2011-09-19T00:48:00.002+08:00

Salam.

Satu demi satu datang. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Itu yang mampu diungkapkan.

Datang tanpa diundang dan disedari. Datang dengan tujuan untuk melihat bagaimana kita menangani semua ni. Manusia tu tak sempurna, lagi-lagi seperti aku hati yang lemah and jiwa yang mudah rapuh. Mudah rapuh sebab duniawi yang sentiasa menguji.

Dugaan dan ujian, memang tak pernah asing dari hidup aku. Memang betul, nak dibandingkan dengan orang lain, yang hidup mereka mungkin lebih jauh teruk dari hidup aku, aku dan mereka tetap rasa benda yang sama. Rasa diuji, dilihat oleh tuhan dari jauh. Boleh ke tak aku tempuh? Boleh ke tak aku bangkit saat aku betul-betul jatuh? Aku fikir, aku sepatutnya dah lali, buat bodoh dan relek je bila aku kena uji, tapi aku memang tak sekuat macam aku 17 tahun dulu. Sounds like a decade, but it was just a year ago. See how time and place affects me so badly? See how weak I am when I start facing things that I used to be capable of, but due to unexcusable reasons, I couldnt find the strength to get back up, or still looking for it. Maybe this is one punishment from Him. A punishment because I disoebeyed, I did things I shouldnt do or simply because I never put an effort in becoming a good person. In other words, nampak baik tapi sebenarnya jahat.

Macam mana eh. Aku tak tau nak buat apa, nak cakap apa, seakan-akan macam dah malas nak fikir pasal itu ini. Tapi bila emosi bermain, semua tak jalan. Thats one of my weaknesses. Emotional, emotional, emotional. I inherited that from Umi. Being emotional when you're alone, is just plain sick. The world somehow became oblivious towards yourself, and all you want to do is just sit alone in the corner, or under you duvet cover or on your pillow, and cry as much as you want, no one will stop you. Du'a is one important thing. The main thing is to keep in faith, strongly believe in His power, that he listens to you, watches you from far. I believe my faith is still hanging to my du'a and I hope it goes on afterwards. Because sometimes, when I start falling back down, I dont feel like getting up, I just hate for what had happened, even when some people say, theres hikmah to it. I am like this, and somehow I feel people will dislike me for this.

Another thing that Im quite upset about is when Im in deep trouble, and I start looking for help from the people that I trust, magically they're not there. Its like I never knew them. Its also upsetting to think that when I never expected anything in return from them and my sole intention was as a human to help and to make their life easier, they couldnt do the same to me. Why? Have I done something wrong? Was it stupid for me to trust people easily and lend a hand and all I get is nothing? Just that moment, it reveals everything, the true colors. Be it rainbow, black or white.

Tapi tak mengapalah, ikhlaskan hati dalam apa saja benda yang kita buat.

Biar orang buat jahat dekat kita, jangan kita buat jahat dekat orang. Ingat keburukan kita dekat orang, ingat kebaikan orang buat dekat kita.
Aku baru 18 tahun 4 bulan, tapi gaya aku tulis semua ni macam aku dah tua sangat, dah banyak makan garam. Padahal tak kan? Itulah kehidupan seorang insan yang tak perfect, bernama Aisyah Munirah. Nampak gaya, jodohku mungkin tiba lambat. Err yeah. Maaflah lately blog ni jadi tempat luahan hati yang terluka, sebab memang dah terluka dan mungkin akan terluka lagi so kena luahkan jugak. Kalau tak, entahla nanti penuh pulak memopad dekat handphone.

Sekarang tibalah masa untuk motivasi diri. Below here was given by Kakak PRM.

'Di dalam hati manusia ada kekusutan dan tak akan terurai kecuali menerima kehendak Allah. Di dalam hati manusia ada kegelisahan dan tak akan hilang kecuali seronok mengenal Allah. Kekuatan seorang Muslim itu bergantung kepada keyakinannya terhadap Allah. Renunglah dengan mata hati, jika semalam jalan yang kita tempuh terasa sukar, namun kita berjaya melaluinya dengan pertolongan Allah. Jika kita terasa perjalanan hari ini begitu sukar untuk ditempuh,yakinlah Allah bersama-sama kita. Jika esok kita lihat lorong-lorong penuh berduri, percayalah Allah dan pertolongannya juga akan bersama kita esok'

Sejujurnya, hari ini dan hari sebelumnya, dan hari sebelumnya, terasa begitu sukar untuk dihadapi. Tetapi benar, hari-hari tersebut dapatku lalui, dengan pertolongan Allah. Kalau tidak, I woulnt be writing this now right?

I should thank the people that helped me throughout these previous days, and of course today. You guys know who you are. May Allah bless :) Nak tuntut apa-apa boleh :)

Pray that I'll be the usual Aisyah Munirah, and all buckled up for Final Exam. Ameen.

PS - Umi&Baba, I hope your wish to go to Hajj is fulfilled, its in my prayer so dont worry :)

If

2011-09-16T00:46:00.002+08:00

If I could just turn back time
None of this would have happened
If I have listened to my innerself
Only if U&B knows I'm like this, they would so disappointed

I wish I can just hide under the duvet cover all day and wishing the day never comes :(

Hazy Weeks

2011-09-10T00:41:00.003+08:00

Salam and Good evening.

It is now 1246 am according to laptop's clock. I didnt realise that I had spent approximately two hours of understanding and braincracking my head on the topic cellular respiration, not to forget re-doing the tutorial. I hope I can get distinction for Biology in this upcoming test despite my not-s0-brilliant effort.
Anyways, I could say that this particular week would be the last lecturing week for all the subjects and for finishing up our first semester. Wow first semester eh, how does that feel -__-

Our study leave begins next week on Wednesday whereby the previous days before that, we should be taking our Test 2 for the core subjects. Purrrrr ChemBioPhy straight ahead. I could die man T_T hmmm no worries. Still have some time to buck up and and I hope I improved slightly better compared to Test 1. So I feel that this week was quite relaxing, not in the sort of rushing mood either. I think Monday was the most heaven-est day since my class starts at 4pm in the evening, yes in the evening where the energy inside my body slowly decreasing..and I was lazy to get me bum up.

Oh yeah, I started my puasa 6 this week, and my oh my, it feels like Im energyless all the time! Thank God most of the days I fasted, our lunch breaks were longer, which kinda allowed me to go back to my dear room..and sleep. Not entirely sleeping, I do that at intervals. I start looking and staring at the notes..when suddenly a scrumbling noise can be heard. Yeah guessed it right. My perut la -__- aiyoo, from that I couldnt concentrate much, and I feel so so tired even if its morning. Which resulted me in making my glorious pace towards the BED. Haishhh. A fact you should know, I sleep or rest at intervals. That could be an hour sleep, then an hour studying, then an hour sleep back, then an hour studying until sunset. Pretty much perky and weird..I know. This somehow explains why Im insomniac for the past few weeks. I take this matter very seriously and somehow I feel shutting my brain manually after having those toss and turns -.- see how unhealthy I am :(

Anyhow, I have this as my good friend if I get hungry :

*FOOD MOOD*
top : cornflakes
bottom : choc chip cookies, and all were hand made by my petite friend, Hani :D

Sweet much? Haha I hope so. Not to mention a bekas-full of assorted Kuih Raya chosen randomly from the stacks of Kuih Raya back at home. I wonder who's going to finish them up? Abrar and Saufi? Probably :)

Oh and umm one accomplishment made by this week is our Enzyme Video Presentation! Proudly to say, it was done successfully with an awesome PERSONAL ASSISTANT DIRECTOR for preparing those awesome cute notes. *perasan*. Actually nah, the credit actually goes to our Head Director, Fadzli for spending the raya nights recklessly on the laptop editing and blabla. Superb job on that! Also to my little group, Sarah as the editor of the video, Wanim and Hani as the enzymesubstrateproduct, making everything to be possible :). Quite a relief, even for my small part in the video and when the video was showed, it gave a positive feedback by the audience, though some might appear to be very giddy and silly, until I feel like shutting their faces -.-

And you know what Im going to miss so much about Puncak Alam? The Rain :D
Why? Because I feel the tranquility, listening to the raindrops and the coldness of the wind whistling in my ears during and after the rain. Just amazing Subhanallah :)

Test 2 next week, study week, then Finals. Wish me luck dear Friends, and all the best to those out there thats facing the same tough weeks ahead like me :)

Au revoir!

O my Lord! All praise is due to you as is befitting to your glorious presence and your great
sovereignty. - Al Mathurat

Aku ingin

2011-09-03T20:57:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Memerhati manusia disekelilingku, terdetik di hati ini. Aku ingin menjadi seperti mereka.
Aku ingin memiliki apa yang mereka ada. Aku ingin menjadi seperti mereka. Aku ingin mengikut jejak langkah mereka.

Aku wanita, perempuan, dara, nisa, wildan.
Naluriku untuk sentiasa berhias, kelihantan cantik, anggun dengan sepersalinanku yang mampu mendatangkan tabarruj wujud dalam benak hati ini.
Naluriku ada untuk mendedahkan kulitku yang halus mulus cerah kepada manusia, supaya mereka kagum dengan ciptaan tuhan ini.
Naluriku ada untuk mencantikkan wajahku dengan penambah seri, dengan pemerah bibir, mataku yang dihiasi dengan warna-warna indah, pipiku kemerahan supaya manusia mengagumi perhiasanku.
Naluriku ada untuk melibas-libas rambutku yang hitam bersinar dan panjang, lembut menutupi belakangku untuk dipertontonkan kepada khalayak ramai.

Aku juga ingin mempunyai seorang teman istimewa
Yang mampu menjadi pendengar setiaku
Tatkala aku kehilangan tempat bergantung
Aku ingin didampingi insan yang bergelar ADAM
Untuk sentiasa menceriakan hidupku dengan kehadirannya
Aku ingin rasa dicintai sepenuhnya, dimiliki untuk selamanya
Aku ingin dibelai dengan kasih sayang olehnya, sehingga aku lupa
Lupa akan DIA yang melihatku, menanti doaku
Aku ingin ADAM untuk membawaku ke sana dan ke mari
Tanpa sebarang ikatan yang sah, menghalalkan segala perilaku
Menantiku tatkala aku masih ragu dengan cintanya
Aku ingin dia sebagai pengubat duka lara

Aku ingin mempunyai ramai kenalan
Tidak kira lelaki atau perempuan
Aku ingin bergaul bebas
Berhibur dan bersuka ria
Melepaskan tekanan yang sentiasa membelenggu fikiranku
Aku ingin meleraikan kekusutan di mindaku
Dengan hiburan supaya aku alpa dengan dunia realiti
Walaupun hanya seketika

Namun, diriku diingatkan, kerana sabar, kerana syariat Allah yang ditetapkan untuk hambanya
SyariatNya untuk menjaga aib dan maruahku
SyariatNya untuk melindungi diriku dari terhempas dengan nafsu yang sukar untuk dilawan
SyariatNya untuk memelihara IMANKU, TAQWAKU, AMALKU, AKALKU
SyariatNya untuk diriku terus berjihad melawan nafsu dalam keadaan dunia yang semakin hari semakin menderita.

Sesungguhnya ganjaran orang bersabar adalah syurga. Semua keinginanku ini dapat dinikmati, dirasai dan dilalui di Syurga.
Sesungguhnya wanita adalah hiasan dunia, seindah hiasan adalah wanita solehah.
Sesungguhnya hatiku ini harus dimiliki olah dia yang mencintaiku kerana CintaNya terhadap yang Esa.
Sesungguhnya nikmat berhibur lebih indah di Syurga berbanding di dunia.
Sesungguhnya nikmat di dunia ini tidak setanding dengan kehebatan nikmat di Syurga.

Doakan diriku ini untuk kearah kebaikan. Untuk dijauhi dan dihindari dengan tipu daya dunia.
Jikalau diberi peluang, aku ingin kembali ke zaman Para Anbiya, di mana wanita hanya
berbakti untuk suami, keluarga dan agama. Aku ingin menghargai perjuangan junjungan besar kita demi agama Islamku yang tercinta.

Ya Allah jauhilah aku dari godaan iblis laknatullah, janganlah kau biarkanku mencintai Dunia lebih daripada aku mencintai Akhirat,
Dekatkanlah diriku denganmu sekiranya aku jauh dari naungan rahmatMu,
Ikhlaskan hati ini dalam menjalankan ibadah sebagai seorang hambaMu
Tabahkanlah jiwa ini di kala aku kelemahan, di kala aku perlukan petunjuk.

Ameen.

Barakallahufikum. Semoga Allah memberkati kalian semua InsyaAllah...

Bisikan Nuraniku

2011-09-03T10:26:00.002+08:00

Lautan kematian ombak
Tenang pantai tiada terusik
Begitulah tasik hatiku
Sejak kehadiranmu

Betapa aku hargai
Anugerah syurga di dunia
Doa kudus aku panjatkan
Semoga dirahmati

Telahpun ku syukuri
Di dalam hidup ini
Cinta suci kurniaan Ilahi

Kejernihan wajahmu
Sempurna pada pandanganku
Kau kirana
Keturunan terpilih
Disanjung serta dihormati
Kau permata
Kesederhanaanmu
Mengecap kekayaan dunia
Kau mestika
Ketaqwaan dirimu
Itu yang merantai jiwaku

Bukan aku memuji
Apalagi memuja
Salahkahku kagumi… perhiasan duniawi

Bisikan nuraniku
Engkaulah pilihanku
Akanku pertahankan
Amanah suci ini

I am no 1

2011-09-02T00:17:00.003+08:00

Hello and Salam Hari Syawal yang ke-4.

Maybe its kinda late for me to say this but oh well,

Eid Mubarak to all muslims around the globe ;)

K back. Approximately 2 hours ago, arrived from dear kampung at Kuala Kangsar and stopped by Ipoh to visit dearest Auntie. The highway was packed with vehicles rushing back to hometown, so the trip was in slow motion. I was in slow motion. Wait no, since we ate some laksa, ABC, Cendol, fishsticks and sweet corn, I couldnt stop talking in the car until I muttered to myself, maybe I should stop talking. Baba kinda errr laughed at it but I didnt stop talking until the sky turned from blue to black.

So how was my raya so farrr? Hmmm moderate like the previous years I'd say. Come to think of it, everyone was kinda rushing to go home due to their duties needed to be fulfilled. The plan was to go back tomorrow, instead we're heading back to Rawang today. Opah is coming with us, so again Teratak Mariah no 19 will be empty once again. Sad.

Raya - Merdeka - Test 2 - Finals.

doomed.

More alert please!

2011-08-14T23:48:00.003+08:00

Salam to dear readers.

In 1o minutes time marks the 15th day of Ramadhan, see how time envies us? Another 15 days more then we'll celebrate Eid. Anyways, we will start out Eid holidays next week on Friday. Excited much? Hm yeah maybe, but on the 5th day of Raya, I have to head back to Puncak Alam, they're only giving us one week :( Sad sad sad. After the holidays, we'll have our test 2, revision week (7 days) and then...FINALS. Oh my oh my. I cant believe Im almost done for my first sem -__- and terrified of the FINALS. If schooling kids are having SPM and PMR, yeah we have our semester exam too, which makes no difference at all, studying is still compulsory during your Eid break.

Wait, did I say that studying is compulsory during our Eid break? WAHAHA. I seriouslyyyy take that back. All I know is, its time for me pow duit raya from my lovely relatives, kumpul banyak-banyak buat duit shopping, pasang muka kesian and muka tak mature, jap betul eh muka empunya ni tak matang lagi? Macam budak-budak? Tak macam pelajar universiti? Ni yang sedih ni -__-. One week man, I hope our lecturers wont give double assignments or lab reports or triple tutorials. Like seriously.

*Mood serious balik*

Im serious now thanks. Lately, Ive heard too many rumours, news and stories about UiTM students , girls especially being exposed to all sorts of danger, that can actually lead to death or lost of virginity :/ Astaghfirullahalazim, sumpah diri ini sangat takut :/ Some stories I heard (true or not, Allah knows more) :

- Foreign workers from the construction sites entering our college at night.
- Attempts of breaking in our rooms, or house.
- Girl actually strangled herself at the door, while 'someone' tries to break in.
- This one is scary, PUKAU! Ada this girl kena pukau by a bangla, and he took her laptop! Screw
that bangla >.<
- Another girl almost got raped, by a foreign worker, again -__- . Subhanallah.

As conclusion, a reminder to self as well as other girls, ladies out there. Never come home late or loitering around kkpr or college above 12 midnight. Lock your room, and house if possible. If you're the first to come home, lock the front door, anything can happen if you're alone. And lastly, ALERT always. If your physical aspects are ready, how about mental and spiritual aspects? Thats for them to think for themselves.

Lets just pray for safety, in and out and may Our Supreme Protector be with us always. Ameen.

"I seek refuge in Allah’s perfect words from the evil of His creation."
-Al Mathurat

Its Friday

2011-08-12T15:48:00.005+08:00

Salam to all.

Today marks the 12th day of the holy month of Ramadhan, so far the fasting work is doing great. I wish I can have the energy to fast like this month, for the upcoming months after. I tried my best in going for Terawih Prayer everyday, and I must say, it feels like theres no rushing at all. Even if the tazkirahs were given only between 10-15 mins and I feel very comfortable in performing the prayer. I still manage to find some time after the prayer so that I can complete all the tutorials or lab reports. For the weekend, tasks are already doubling on my to-do-list. Chemistry assignment needed to be done online, and Ive already got the first question wrong T_T, a loud scream can be heard from room C, kay that was me . This happens when you depend on ICT too much, even if the unit is missing, or you put the name of the element instead of its symbol, still considered wrong! If this goes on..I can truly be distressed for the whole sets of 25 questions, ridiculous? Yeah I know.

Anyways, went to my cooking class last Wednesday..and guess what we made. Chocolates :D
Not a fan of chocolates or choc-addict, eating it excessively will only cause my teeth to somehow vibrate -___-. One thing I know, it was stress-releasing, like realllly. I miss baking at home :| I'll try to find the time just after our Eid holidays to bake Raya cookies! woopee.

The base of this thing is made from chocolate being 'wiped' on a balloon wet with oil, so once the chocolate is cooled, it will look a bit like a balloon :D (though once we popped the balloon, some of the parts were broken into small pieces, and that part up there is the only one left -___- )

Combination of mint choc, orange choc, white choc and dark-compound choc, so theres variety of colors :)

My group with Miss Liza :)

And lastly, a view from my room, where our Bazar Ramadhan is located.

Selamat Berbuka everyone! :D

Sorry seems hard

2011-08-07T13:31:00.004+08:00

It took you one year
to realize
to think back
your very own mistakes
your neglections
your unwary signs
How you left this little piece of thing that never seemed so fragile

Thanks is all I could say
You made me realize
How foolish and naive I was
How innocent,
and to that, I see no benefits in knowing you as a person, at all
and from that, I never cared about this little piece of thing, that sooner became stoned
and from that, I definitely realize, and it was Allah who gave me this priceless awareness
So that I wont strain from His Guide, drowned into the heavy realm of fault
He's giving me a chance, to make amends

Now that they've neglected you
Abandoned you
You came looking for me, regrets written all over you
With a SORRY, that seemed so hard, that took you almost a year
Previous times, where did you keep your guilt? Locked it in a box?
Have you ever thought of how ignorant you were?

I kept quiet, remained silent
Oblivious to your eyes
Because I know where I stand
Because I know that life and future is waiting ahead of me
I dont want you, to be in my way

Just so you know, venges are not a part of me
I take your sorry
and thats the end.
May Allah Bless you, always.

Yours sincerely,
AM

Dear Allah,
I pray to You,
Please dont let be me trapped, in this game of Satan
Please keep my iman and my heart, only for You and for someone who earns your Love too
I pray to you, keep me a distance away from all the evil deeds
Let the bonds of love made only for the sole purpose of YOU dear Allah

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Sometimes,

2011-08-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

Random snippet;

Sometimes, we tend to have high imaginations.

Its not wrong right?

:P

Its coming

2011-07-30T18:08:00.002+08:00

Salam to all and pleasant greetings ;)

Basically, one day left before the month of Blessing. Ramadhan is making its way towards us. Oh why. Time has definitely flown so fast right? Its already July, so that means I have been here at Puncak Alam almost for 3 months. And the next thing I know, final examinations for Sem 1 is in 7 weeks. Oh wow I cant wait -__- . Test 1 is done. Alhamdulillah the results turned out to be very convincing. I have to put more and more effort, especially Physics, I dont know why it envies me so much, or maybe vice versa, but oh well. At least I managed to score it *tak gempak mana pun sebenarnya*. Still, test 2 is coming up after the Eid holidays. It is compulsory not to fail any of the subjects, and our seniors are stressing on this so much. Since this week or last week, their UPU results came out. For those who didnt score the pointer right, 'lelong' happens to them. The act of this is very....evil. Evil indeed. Its what you call nasib man. I am now having a big concern about this, eventhough this sem is not completet yet. Honestly, I havent got the slightest clue of what I want to do in the future. Medicine? Not up for it, very challenging and consistency is totally important throughout your studying years. Engineering? I turned down the YTN scholar, because I dont see myself as an engineer in future, Ill probably wreck the company's performance -__-. Being rhethoric, should I have that sense of regret in me? Because taking up this offer means my post or job is secured. I dont think filling up UPU would be necessary either. *BLANK*

Dah tak mau cakap apa-apa.

Im presuming that tomorrow, our bilik bacaan which has a TV in it will be full of rafflesians. Our first day of Ramadhan will be announced tomorrow, and Terawih prayer will also start, InsyaAllah. The bad news is, I am very very devastated, the fact that I will not be joining the blessings of this particular day, again which happened last year at Seseri :( . I told Umi, and she said, just be thankful and theres a hikmah hidden between it. Thanks dear Mother.

Speaking of which, I attended this really interesting forum the other day called 'Hadiahku, Cintaku, Jom renew cinta kita' though at first, they stressed on how our love should be distributed to the right person(s),by that I dont mean L.O.V.E C.I.N.T.A stuffs. Kay I feel cheesy -__- . From what I understood, its about how you manage your love with a sole purpose to other people. The love that you spread them, should be based on your love towards the Almighty. Righteo? I think this as a reflection, when the phrase 'Jom Renew Cinta kita' is used, my mind somehow is triggered with deep thoughts. Renewing your love means, what or who deserves it fully, wholly and eternally before anyone else does. So in simpler words, of course Allah deserves our love fully, wholly and eternally. There are important people that play a role in our lives and we should be thankful that we are receiving the love and support continously from them. But always remember, even if you are bound to be in a relationship with someone which you and I shouldnt at this time of age -__- and you love that person with all your heart and soul, always have this thought that in the end, when you're in deep doubt or troubles are circling around you, he/she wont be there to comfort or console until the feeling is gone. It is to HIM that we seek for help, to HIM that we thank for those endless graces and to HIM we return :)

So the forum is somehow a reflection for me. I may speak or write like I dont deserve to. But oh well, I aint perfect. I make mistakes and currently still learning from the past, to be used for the future.

Anyways, one of the moderator (Abang NowSeeHeart :P) mentioned, that we should 'memamakkan' Ramadhan. Pahe dok memamakkan Ramadhan tu macam mana? Of course la kata dasar memamakkan tu mamak kan. So apa yang first thing that pops in your head bila mamak is used? Typically, Malaysians would go to a mamak stall to enjoy roti canai, teh tarik, tosai and some other exotic Malaysian meals. But what I am trying to say here is, kedai mamak ni memang tarikan for pakcik-pakcik, atuk-atuk atau abang-abang untuk bersembang-sembang ke, tengok bola ke, buat meeting JAKKKKK kampung ke (haha) atau korang hayatilah lagu Malique Too Phat yang apakenamanya, haa Cerita Kedai Kopi, macam tu lah situasi kat kedai mamak kan. *Dah memang putar belit betul ayat aku* . Abg NowSeeHeart tu cakap, asal kedai mamak je, mesti meriah, dapat makanan dan minum cepat je, public suka datang. Ane-ane yang buat roti canai tu pun dah kamcing. Kalau lambat tu memang tak efficient la kan bisnes dia. So kenapa kita kena memamakkan bulan Ramadhan ni? Sebabbb,
macam mana hebatnya kedai mamak tu, macam tu la kita kena celebrate Ramadhan ni. Meriahkan Ramadhan ni sebaik-baiknya dengan amal ibadah dengan istiqamah dan ibadah tu mesti dilakukan dengan efficient! Ada betul jugak Abg NowSeeHeart tu buat perbandingan dengan kedai mamak. When I heard it for the first time, I didnt understand what was he trying to convey. But in the end, I finally did. So if you guys have a big confusion in reading this, forgive me. I am bad at putting and mathing words according to the meaning. Somehow you have to be there and lend your ears :)

So quite a lengthy post. Spent the whole day 'playing' with Seserians at INTEC. I was overjoyed in meeting them, thats for sure. Quite a reunion I'd say :)

Taa peeps!

.....and EIDUL MUBARAK! =))

Excited!

2011-07-19T14:14:00.004+08:00

credits : Google

The anticipation, the final chapter of Twilight Saga! Which I have been waiting for! Then I realized, the MUET test is somewhere around November. Fear not people! I shall find time for this, since the movie is divided into 2 parts, I wonder when part 2 will be released?

Started reading Breaking Dawn during my one month holiday break after Form 4. And yes its all about romantic immortal relationship, human and not human. Vampires and werewolves..what else? The Volturi, Quilette Pack, seems like these things does not exist in our exile, I suppose. Dont believe the existance anyways.

And guess what, I still have the hots for Jacob Black. He's probably more sane, compared to Edward. Not that I despise Edward, but I prefer Bella being with Jacob more than Edward. Bella's desperateness (is that a word? 0.o) in being a vampire really is not a good idea, despite on the risks shes taking, for her daughter too, Renesmee. Poor Jake, he was really devastated when he got to know that finally Bella is getting married to Edward. The trailer says it all, so dont forget to watch it! Haha.

Frankly, it has been almost 2 years since I read that book, so I couldnt recall on the climax or even the ending of the story. My bad.

K bye.credits to the poster :

http://shaecarcar-twilight.blogspot.com/

Go!

2011-07-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

- tumblr

SALAM AND GREETINGS EARTHLINGS :)

Hi and I am back for the week.
As expected, people would think that Im back with heavy assignments and quizzes needed to be done online, yes all online. Okay there are a few needed to be done. But I spent the whole weekend relaxing and did some shopping with the ladies (Diela and Hazirah Ahmad) along with my sister tagging. Haha I am extremly happy, got what I wanted :) eventhough reaching to Mid Valley took almost 1 hour and a half. The train was halfway, then at Bank Negara we had to stop and reach to KL Sentral by RapidKL bus. Reason? Kuala Lumpur station had a massive accident on crane getting toppled on the roof. What the, people could have been killed by that crane. Anyways, it was Saturday where public on-goers would go out and about. So again, me, my sister and Diela went through those 'sardine can' moments again. It was Nina's first time going on a public transport and I can see that she was scared. HAHA.

Anyhow, the main thing was we arrived home safely. And, not to forget, had a lil bit of chit chat with the taxi driver and he was a pious man, from what I can tell. I felt less scared then. He talked about illegal immigrants getting married to local women, how they are dominating and taking advantage of our country's services and more, but he gave lots of advices though. And we reached home, his last advice was :

" Jangan sekali-kali tinggal solat, setiap perkara yang kita buat, Allah taala nampak. Jadila muslimah yang terbaik ye dik"

Eventhough the message was quite common, I was...absolutely touched and thankful to Allah, the taxi man was a medium for HIM to convey this easy message. It was a reminder from HIM and something I should never ever take for granted. May Allah bless your life pakcik :)

So I am away from the distress and depress and stress and all the essess, you name it for a week. Life at Puncak Alam, so far so good. Still trying to improve myself. Studying is the usual thing, completing the lab reports, assignments, tutorials and blabla. I really need accelerate, find the missing momentum. Somehow, Foundation is not something I should mess with. With the period of one year, everything has to be cramped in. And the chapter gets deeper, it gets harder. Serious stuff peeps. We had our test the other day, and Im very concerned about my Physics. The questions werent that hard, but once the test paper meets the eye of the owner, everything goes blank. Same old excuses right? But, positive thinking! Its the first test, so do better in the next test, which dues before or after Raya.

One week, lets not waste it shall we? Study group with Farah Latep coming right up!

btw rindu housemates, groupmates and schoolmates!

ps : Harry Potter was awesome! :)

http://www.iluvislam.com/tazkirah/nasihat/1180-wanita-jangan-gantikan-nikmat-allah-dengan-kekufuran.html

2011-07-04T14:37:00.000+08:00

http://www.iluvislam.com/tazkirah/nasihat/1180-wanita-jangan-gantikan-nikmat-allah-dengan-kekufuran.html

Antara semua kaum, Islam sahaja yang mengangkat darjat wanita setinggi-tingginya.
Islam sahaja yang menghargai kedudukan dan perjuangan mereka dulu.

Alhamdulillah, aku wanita Islam.

<3

Absolute Audible

2011-07-01T20:52:00.005+08:00

Salam and pleasant greeting.

While facebook is being such an ass, lets spill things shall we. It has definitely been a ride for the past few weeks. And I tried to find a snippet of time to actually brag about the things Ive encountered here. Not that extravagant, but oh well just filling up the empty spaces.

To be frank, I have discovered the other side of me lately. Not actually discovered, but my old plus bad plus crappy habits are just back? I see myself as quite a different person. Maybe no one acutally notices this, but I can just feel it. I did things that I didnt do for a long time, it may be good or bad. But lets stress on the bad part shall we. I think its hard for me to put this in words :/ but Im trying. When the 'bad' word is used (soo out of vocab here), I dont actually mean extremely bad that can actually make you think Ive changed to someone you can never expect me to be. Its just a teeny tiny bit of a matter that I find it to be quite serious.

I have this kind mindset that everyday when I start making paces towards any place, it would be a jihad for me. Why jihad? This is what jihad means based on dictionary.com (bad source I know) :

'any vigorous, emotional crusade for an idea or principle.'

Emotional? -_- hmm I agree partially on that because your emotions are truly tested right? Okay back to the main point, jihad is quite universal. There are many types of jihad you can experience. For some pessimists, jihad always refers to war, terrorist, throwing bombs at a fancy hotel, setting a hostage and all sorts of things you can think of. Maybe partly jihad does refer to them. But for instance, fighting with your own might to actually resist eating pizza after having a bowl of mushroom soup? Okay what a bad example, just remembered that I ate pizza last week -__-, trying to stay awake when those bubbles of ZZZ can be seen from far while you're in a lecturer hall? For me, thats a jihad too. What about getting lost on your first day when your DK is located at the end of the world and when you finally arrive, you're all sweaty and fatigue and in the end you fell asleep. Haha, I AM NOT talking about myself, its merely an example, who knows it might happen to other people out there? Okay more mature examples please -__-, hmm this is quite common for a guy, maybe its hard for them to avoid seeing things they shouldnt, because some things are just exposed? With or without purpose, I dont know, but oh well you get me.

Its hard to be good, not when you're in a place where all sorts of people can be found. Its hard to resist things being offered directly. When you feel that you've done something virtuous, the public will think the other way round or misinterpret it, or some maybe. Thats what I feel sometimes. Why? Because, we/I judge people easily. Thats just possibly the nature of a human being. Based on their clothes, the way they talk to poeple, their own little cliques.

I was offered a choice, that kinda secured my future and there were people encouraging me to fulfill it. But I felt so hesitant. I felt lost, and unsure of what I am supposed to do next because it involves sacrificing. In the end, I made a decision not to further with the option, whatever it is, I am happy with what I have now. In my terms, thats what I refer jihad to. I remember those wise words Umi gave me the other day, food for thought you see. Im holding onto it, until now. So that I wont strain away from Allah's guide. Keep my Iman, securing it there in that little space, making sure that its not going down, but gradually and slowly increasing, insyaAllah.

Put an effort in being the ideal muslim, I am still building it inside me. I know being perfect is quite impossible, but hey, at least I tried right?

Sorry for the long post and the crappy blabberings. I just need to blurt this out.

Safe journey for your life peeps :)

Noktah?

2011-06-24T08:27:00.002+08:00

Bila difikirkan balik, aku rasa semua ni tak adil bagi aku. Aku tak diberi peluang, setiap kali aku rasa terperangkap. Aku dah buat apa yang patut. Mungkin betul, setiap ujian yang tuhan bagi oleh manusia, adalah satu rahmat.

Mungkin, bukan kali ini.
Mungkin, tuhan akan sediakan yang lebih baik.
Mungkin juga, kesilapan diri ini.

X(

:)

2011-06-07T19:13:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum and greetings earthlings.

Pharmacy Faculty. I really really love looking around this campus.

Hot Honey Hani :)

HEE see these lil bonkers? BFF for a year maybe :)

Books are settled, heavy and pricey too :S Hmmm okay peeps wish me luck here!

Pss. thanks Friend for the early birthday present, very unexpected lah -.-

Foresaken

2011-06-04T21:20:00.007+08:00

Salam to all.

Since being in Puncak Alam, I just knew that they blocked Blogger from the server, which sucked a lot and it prevented me from updating. Okay whatevs. Soooo where shall I begin. I lived at Puncak Alam for almost two weeks now, and all I can say is, the place is COOL. I mean its very very environmentally friendly, surrounded with trees everywhere. And the distance between the faculty and college (where we live, similar like apartment) is VERY NEAR. OK Im only kidding. The real story is, theres this huge and long stairs that connects the college to the faculty. And it has 284 steps? Terrifiying? Nah it feels nothing when you finally reach to the top (berlagak tu). But lately coming back from classes with my new classmate, Hani Jamil, seldomly used the rapidkl using that rabbit card. I can seriously lose weight if I keep going on that 284 steps everyday, plus even harder when we have to wear baju kurung or jubah. But heh Ill get used to this kind of situation eventually :)

And yes, let me clarify this, Seserians is all over the place. Not wholly, but I mean everywhere I go, I will stumble upon them, and Hani sounding soo annoyed ' Weh ramai gila budak Seseri kat sini, eee nyampahya :P' haha. Thanks Hani :P But oh well, at least Im not lonely here. How about housemates? Roomate? Well let me introduce them :

from left : Hawa (Meru, Klang), Ija (Sabak Bernam), Atin (Labuan),
sitting down : Yonie (K.Terengganu), Ainina ( Melaka),
not in picture : Farahdilla (Besut, Terengganu)

Minggu Destini Siswa :)

Ada yang balik from kelas, but moi and Dina (baju biru) with Mia baru habis dinner :D

Mai, Illy, Magina and Amirah :D at RSU

BERSEPAHHHH :P

Pharmacy faculty..where we have our lectures in those square boxes :D and you know what, the campus reminded me of UMIST a lil bit.

I googled this pic :D

Anyways, the routine is the same everyday. My timetable is not that packed either. BUT, makan sedap! Omg..thats the part I really hate. Almost ayam and tempe everyday, because I love the combination of both. Im always excited when it comes to eating at KKPR. Tidak mengapa, I will puasa :) Hmmm other than that, started class already. The lectures are okay, the lecturers are very fast and efficient -.- and we already covered the first topic of Maths. Coolio.

The thing is, Puncak Alam and Rawang is only 30 mins distance. Which means, I can go home almost everyday or every week -.- tak mencabar lah kan. Never mind. Btw went to KL for the whole day, shopping for our raya kain thingy at Jakels. I was quite not in the mood during that time so I agreed to all the designs my sisters and Umi picked. The color is definitely very girlish. Err okay we'll see how it turns out.

Hmm thats all for today. Going back to college tomorrow. Wish me luck peeps!

and I hope, it will come to an end because Im tired of being tested like this. I broke his heart, and I feel disastrous. I hope I made the right decision, Allah Yusahhil.

:)

*sorry for the bad quality pics, all from my phone.

I miss you

2011-05-19T23:31:00.006+08:00

Salam to all.

Just after our SPM examination ended, everyone was basically looking for a job and I didnt miss the chance to do so. Earning a few bucks for ourselves, why not kan? The little income we get, even if we are still supported by our parents, it can be used to treat ourselves instead of asking money from our parents. Okay honestly, I do that everytime. Whenever Im out at a shopping mall with my family, and I see something that catches my eye, hesitantly I will ask if I feel like I need that thing so bad. In other words, wanting whatever that thing is. Not a spoilt child, my parents doesnt nurture me luxuriously like other people out there, just when they feel I deserve for something, then they have their promises. Of course, not all promises are easy to keep. And not everyone can accept when those promises are broken. But now, I have think and act maturely. Im not 12 anymore, I know my parents cant fulfill all my needs as a girl.

Anyways, I was very choosy when it comes to looking for a job. I would love to fill my leisure time doing something with the skill that I got. NOT tuition class or tutoring kids. Takut ajaran sesat la pulak nanti -.-. What I wanted to do was to become a kindergarten teacher. Cliche? Not apt for someone uncool like me? I dont give a cow about it. HAHA. Its easier handling kids near your age than these little nobbers, seriously. Why? Because I myself have two little pipsqueaks at home, and I CAN NEVER stand them, at times. In the end, I will just shove them out of my room, if they start and disturbing me with my work. Pure evil I know.

But then, its not so bad after all. A good patience is all you need. Yeah Im so used to Saufi and Abrar at home so I kinda had less problem at work with those kids. Of course, I wouldnt deny that not all them are obedient. Just one or two that would make the same mistake everyday and ended up standing in the corner facing the wall. I did that almost everyday, haha credits to that Nanny show I watched at TV a few years back. A punishment but psychologically affected. I hope? Haha. Sometimes I would give those deadly glares or hard stares when they start to annoy me. Slowly...they will return back to normal. It was fun you know?

Then the last day of working.
I baked Moist Chocolate Cake which didnt turn out to be moist at all. I just followed the recipe, main campak campak semua. Err..yeah. Anyways, I hoped that the kids liked it.

And yeah, I miss them. Is it wrong? :) of course not.

Main dengan Pokok Semalu kat Taman hehe.

Night peeps.

All In

2011-05-18T01:22:00.003+08:00

Salam and greetings Earthlings.

I left the blog outdated again.

Newsflash 1 :

Tak dapat luar, JPA bagi dalam. Im grateful enough :)

Newsflash 2 :

Taman Tamadun Islam

Masjid Kristal

Pasar Payang

My wish was granted : Going to the seaside.

I checked the JPA status at Farah Asnida's house. I should be doing it at home, so that I can cry on my pillow later. Since I was on a vacation, I didnt want to distort the holiday mood I was having. Thanks guys for this memorable trip, eventhough it was short, I enjoyed the excursion. And massive thanks to Farah Asnida for being the driver and the tour guide :D Zaihot aka Zaiha also for being the special guess. More pics are up at my facebook.

Newsflash 3 :

I went swimming today, couldnt believe that I actually dipped inside the swimming pool. Thanks Auntie Liza for driving and Syaza for inviting me and Hazirah :D (sunburnt aku erghh)

Newsflash 4 :

This Sunday, I am officially a UiTM student. Bye-bye life of a post-SPM student. I hope it goes smoothly after this.

Taa peeps.

Let it go will you

2011-05-09T12:32:00.005+08:00

Salam and greetings Earthlings.

See the date for my last post? Haha amazing isnt it, so not me for leaving this shed to dust for quite some time. Sum it up, the internet connection at my housing area was being ultimately gay, somehow the TM thingy was struck by lightning. You would think I survived? Think again. I didnt survive, without begging Baba on his knees, he bought the Celcom Broadband which was freaking slow. But oh well.

Ok lah whatever.

Cut it short, currently everyone is fussing about their university intake. Congrats to those who got accepted to their uni of choice. Congrats to me for getting something I didnt expect. Frustrated at first, as I wanted to be in UIA very very. But then I got Foundation in Science at UiTM Puncak Alam. I realised, maybe Allah wanted to tell me that UiTM is the best place yet? InsyaAllah, I surveyed the place and I have a senior there last year, Kak Ilya and she said it was superb studying there, except the stairs part, because it seemed like the Batu Caves one, haha flippin heck KURUS la saya nanti, tak perlu nak gedik-gedik diet mogok tak makan nasi. Haha typical man :D

Merci Beaucoup mon Amie :)

My Melati Idayu.

All in all, Im excited to start this new sem, the new life begins, eventhough it lasts only for a year. But Im sure everywhere I go, Ill be able to mix and meet new people, start learning and discovering the new world, and just have fun. So everyone, be positive! Cuz at the moment I can feel it lingering in my vein. I have had enough of feeling down, distressed and Im learning to accept reality, bit by bit even if its bitter.

Im leaving home starting this 22nd May, and I HOPE I WILL NOT BE HOMESICK. This may sound stupid, ridiculous, immature, childish or whatever the right term is! Daym. Aku masih berfikiran macam ni. Memang tak boleh survive la haha. Lek luuuu, Puncak Alam dekat je dengan Rawang pun. Kalaulah dah ada kereta kan senang hidup, tapi first year students tak boleh bawak kereta, so sack that! Bior jela lesen P tu berhabuk haha.

To let the distress flow away, Im going to Terengganu this Friday along with Mimo, Shakey and me! To finally meet our lovely dormmate Farah Asnida, she has been waiting for us since the school ended. Just strollling around Kuala Terengganu, maybe just maybe mandi laut hehe. Farah Asnida will drive us, if she gets tired then Ill drive for her. Ohh I cant wait so much!

Newsflash :This week will be my last week at Azzahra. Sedih la :(

Okay JPA's results are announced this evening, in 47 minutes yet. Before anything, I am absolutely not putting any hopes on this scholar, tawakal already.

Taa everybodiii :)

Oh yeah

2011-04-25T21:15:00.004+08:00

Hi earthlings.

Can I just say that AFTERLIFE IS NOW AVAILABLE IN MALAYSIA! :))

Okay Im so going on a hunt for this book!

Pleasure within

2011-04-23T21:05:00.007+08:00

Salam hotstufss.

Lets begin with this one whole day of wake up in the morning feeling like...I dont know? Like a G6? HAHA TAK KELAKAR. K DAH DAH.

This morning the whole family (exclude Saufi, Kakak and Nina) went to Seseri for our school's award giving ceremony. Oh my, arrived around 845 and friends were already sitting down and the opening ceremony was just about to open -__-. Oh yeah, I was so HAPPY and DELIGHTED to meet my peers once again, and Im starting to miss them again now, since everyone lives so far. Especially Mimo and Wadhihah, not to forget Ameera Mahzan as well. Same as usuals, but Bellatrix contributed a lot, I mean massively a lot for last year in terms of SPM's results and co-curricular achievements too. So Bellatrix is a very high-spirited batch according to our bestest Biology teacher Miss Mahadiah, we didnt stop cheering for almost everything thats needed to be cheered. Haha oh well. Thats just our identity that will remain forever :D

Pn. Zubidah banyak berjasa for our Under One Roof esp during BM and she was really2 garang. But it was paid off :D

The reason why Im here :) Thanks Umi and Baba for everything <3

After that I begged Baba so that I can join my comrades to Bookfair located at PWTC. Its just a walking distance from Seseri, so we walked together making loud noises haha everyone was funny. Since its the second day of the exhibition, it was extremely packed with people. But I managed to get what I want. Oh I was so excited when I saw Jemari Seni's booth. YES TIME FOR HLOVATE HIHI. And seriously I didnt know Hlovate wrote a new novel so Im so excited to read it soon! Mimo has a list of books she want to buy, but it was so hard getting through those visitors -.-

Oh andd I met Kak Fatin! Wahhh so so excited when I saw her and shouted for her name, we hugged and talked for a little. Lama tak jumpa Kak Atin, since sleepover Aisyah lagi kan?

Minah2 red carpet haha

OHH BESTTT NI GRRR

Yes akhirnya dapat borong Lawak Kampus! Okay Tau la ketinggalan kan, mesti orang lain dah pernah baca kan. Siapa-siapa nak kata aku ni tak matang suka hati lahhh :D I developed an interest in reading comics during postSPM period. Told my uncle, Syazwan Nizar when he called me at The Mall about buying those comics and he laughed, pathetically. Thanks Uncle for that -.-

Okay my legs are aching like mad, thank God I didnt wear high heels because I dont even have one. Even pumps can make me helpless walking for hours. All in all, I miss these two :

Nak ulang balik hari ni boleh takkkkk? :( rindu rindu rindu lahhh

K bye.

I have to be real

2011-04-22T16:32:00.001+08:00

Truly inspiring, her words feel me.

'Dont you dare hang up on me!'

2011-04-20T17:15:00.006+08:00

Salam and Evening.

The title of this post is actually a line from the movie Scream. Since I saw Scream 4's trailer up on you youtube, and finding out that it is actually a sequel. So my new and current addiction is the Scream's thrillogy eventhough a lot cursings can be heard which me cracked into laughter for a bit. Yeahhhh I know Im so lamee right because like baru nak tengok lah kan padahal movie ni dah popular berabad dah haha. Actually I remembered watching Scream 2 on Channel 5 back when I was in Cheetham Hill. But then, watching a movie-sequel without knowing the prologue really sucks. I have friends who think Im weird plus odd of my super-interest in watching horror movies, oh well. I can't help myself on that, simply because Im a movie+television series junkie :D

Scream 1 down, 2 3 4 to go. The lights are out, the fan maximised up to 4 ( no aircond -__-), its raining heavily, thunders can be heard, soft chilly winds gesturing the air and Im ready to go!

Anyone care to join me in this horrific entity?

I didnt actually have the guts to put the pic of Ghostface, it'll definitely look very disturbing on my blog @@

K bye.

PTJG

2011-04-16T01:02:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum and Good morning.

Its one am in the morning and Im still not in bed. So lets sack that. Just had Jaguh Gemilang's Prizegiving ceremony at this homestay that I barely knew it existed. Okay, lets say I was quite excited for this particular night. Simply because I get to meet my teachers back in form 3 and form 4. And friends that I grew up with since standard 2, and seeing them all together again made me so happy :')

With Sir JC :)

ex-classmates

Sir JC with his speech

Find my name :P

Yeehoo dapat pegang lagi check besar tu, time PMR pun dapat pegang jugak hihi

Ecechhh

Muka ngantok je semua haha

Semua orang dapat benda ini :)

Ingatkan dapat duitttt. Waduh I was over-excited then hawhaw. Overall, enjoyed the night and glad I met my friends and hoping that I'll be seeing them again. But guess what, reached home and I got a text message from SMKTD's top scorer saying :

'Frenz, im jz afraid we wont meet after this so Im 'warning' u guys not to forget me..u know Im very special :D gud luck in ur future undertakings..strive ya! dun dun dun dun 4get me..coz u know im very childish and sentimental..i'll miss u guys so damn much and I miss the moments we had together! from one and only ur darling Foong..^.^'

Arghhhhh Foong apasal awak buat saya sedih baca text awak ni? Of course saya tak akan lupakan awak budak pandai :(

Night!

I should have known

2011-04-15T15:38:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

Hello. Im Aisyah Munirah and Im so lame. Like lame with the capital L-A-M-E.
K stop.
Its one am in the morning and Im still not in bed. Taking this advantage because I feel like doing so and you cant stop me from doing that so go away. Wahha. One busy and dreadful week I say. Fuh my eyes were sore twice. Because I cried for something stupid. And I think its PMS again, so aint bovvered.

So to start from the beginning, I was shortlisted for JPA scholar interview. Okay I was thankful and grateful to be just shortlisted eventhought I didnt put high hopes on getting my scholar despite my 'cukup-cukup' makan results. But people say, they assess you through how you interact with the interviewers and how well you make yourself stand out. The results were announced on Thursday, 8th of April and my interview is also on Thursday the following week. Basically, I only have 1 week to prepare and get all the documents settled. So I kinda like 'lepak2' and didnt read the offer letter properly. And by Monday baru nak buat semua tu. So there goes mon pere bising-bising sending those vibration particles to my ear drum saying my procrastination and bla bla. In the end I said to him 'Ba, I regretted procrastinating this'. And he 'ajuk' for what I have said T_T K whatever.

So I gathered with Illy, Marjeena and Balqis (budak-budak straight A's tuuu -.-) via Skype to do some discussions for the current issues together. Googled all sorts of interview tips and a few does help. In the end, we all stayed up late but I guess it worths the time. On the morning of the interview, I have no appetite at all. Weird, compared to the interview I went for YTN, I was less nervous for it. But for JPA, I feel like my stomach doesnt exist anymore when I arrived at Intec, S. Alam. But hoh, Teh Tarik is always the best ^^.

Okay interview at 940 when I checked for my name and it was 830 by the time I finished slurping Teh Tarik (and I drank a quarter of the glass only). Waited and waited, oh yeah I met Mun (my dormmate last two years) so I chatted with her, hoping that the anxiety will just go away. But it didnt, so I talked with my group members and everyone was very friendly but I was the only malay, there was 3 indians and 1 chinese. Got scared because I knew they can speak more fluently than me, but oh well I think everyone played their part well in the end.

It was more relaxing and I felt comfortable talking to them. I was very calm, tak percaya I. Haha. They were interested in what&why I chose the program, why that particular country and then the discussion was about 'First class country, first class mentality'. When I heard the title
I was like..crap man. I really hate talking like a philosopher, because I am not one. Therefore, I just ranted out whatever I can give and it sounded nothing but crap. So there you go. Haha. Lets forget about that, the moment they said thank you I was relievedddddddddddddddddd like mad. Oh yeah now I can sleep forever. After that I waited for Kaka to come, she just lives nearby the area and had our lunch at McD.

Mon pere picked me up frm Intec and this is when the story gets a bit ugly. I mentioned before that I had Teh Tarik just before the interview right? Okay after the interview ended I went to the cafeteria and had another Teh Tarik but now lets call it as Teh Ais. When I was already leaving Shah Alam, mon pere was hungry so we stopped by at this food stall at Kepong. I didnt
eat anything because I was already bloody full and I ordered another glass of Teh Ais. Wooh 3 glasses in one day. When he was all stuffed up, the car was already moving and I started to feel sooooo queasy.

'Ba stop the car, stop the car!'

And there I go barfing in one go, beside the main road. IT WAS HORRIBLE. IT WAS SICKENING. Rosak baju biru aku :'(

and I dont wanna talk further. Its quite an adventure day for me. Whatever it is, Im thankful that I did my interview well. But Im not putting high hopes on the scholar. Just tawakal :)

Prejudice doesnt help

2011-04-05T18:47:00.004+08:00

SALAM

Busy week, days..hours. Weekends were fully packed on road going to unknown places. The night was spent recklessly on bed. No more of those late nights tv on blinkx. I miss you Blinkx. Seriously. I have a long list of shows I missed watching, now that I have to focus on my career path and what I want to be or do , these things shouldn't be any of my concern no more. Oh bummer ;( Hmm its okay. Theres more to life than being a tv geek. But I procrastinate a lot nowadays. Sort of doing things in the last minute, having assumptions that everything will turn out the opposite if I keep on procrastinating and in the end, Ill be the one thats complaining, wailing, moaning..and whatever that keeps my mouth open for foresaken hours. Oh mah gohd. Hmm BE POSITIVE. Mon pere reminded me that, again and again (yesterday for 10 mins of lecture is blooming enough -.-) and yess I am an optimist and nothing gets in my way if I stop being some who prejudice a lot. Because prejudice is eventually a negative word for me. So no more negatives (-) and lets play positive (+)! (macam battery la pulak -.-)

But my mind is interrogating so much, I wish I could make it stop and say 'shattap' to it. Oh well. Its soo beyond my power to do that.

Anyhow, today was the awaiting day. Heh, the interview. Hmm I was hoping and fearing for killer questions like Amir Nazri (JPA scholar) adviced me on. And my cousin who is currently under YTN was interviewed in 2008. So the format kinda changed. Instead of individuals, now its grouping. The main reason was to see who stands out more that others. I was relieved to see the smiles on the interviewers, so they are not bad after all. Just talk to them like you're having a normal conversation. My hands were trembling a little once our group (2nd) was called. But its a quite a relief to be in the early session, that means I have less time to be nervous. Debate was in malay and the topic was 'pembelajaran mate&sains harus diteruskan dalam bhs inggeris'..and I was appointed as the government. Entah hapa lah aku cakap tadi. Globalisasi, bahasa antarabangsa, koperat konferens di luar negara (-.-) , okay dah dah merapik sungguh. Haha. At least I tried right? Kalau point tak bernas pun tak kisah, janji point sendiri biar teguh :D

Alhamdulillah, blessings was a help. It ended just the way I wanted it to. Syukur syukur. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs after the interview for our group ended. One job is done, waiting for the next to come. Oh yeah, after that went to PJ. Mon pere went to his office, while I strolled along Amcorp Mall alone. I had Subway for lunch and looked for something to spend on, dapat beli tudung. Eleh itu pun nak kecoh. ahah
Fooled by Taman Jaya, thought it was KTM, turned out to be LRT -.-, Home sweet home at 3 o'clock. A big congrats I bid to myself for not getting on the wrong train or LRT again, my worst concern is 'mandrem'. Fear that GIRLS. I shall not elaborate on that part.

A big thank you to Mr Abd Rahman for giving those highstandard points&facts and didnt stop ranting until I finished the interview and bringing me there. And belanja shawl sekali hahaha.

K BYE TAA.

Flip

2011-04-02T08:35:00.001+08:00

IM THE FIRST TO BE INTERVIEWED? WHATHEFAG?

Before and After

2011-03-30T14:31:00.007+08:00

HAI SALAM

Dah seminggu ambik result SPM. Hati, apa khabar? Minda, apa khabar? Iman, apa khabar?

OKAYY ANA BIL KHAIR :')

Newsflash : I failed my JPJ test.

To be specific, the slope test. Okay I did my trainings for 12 hours. I think the rest is moderate, okay. The slope test was my main concern. Going on top of the slope was alright, its just that going down is hard. I had a bad time coordinating my legs and hands simultaneously. And my hands arent that freaking strong to lift up the handbrake. WTH -.- lembik. There goes 150 flying above my head. Auntie just called, so my test is repeated next week next week. I cant bloody wait and soo excited to get my P. That's one burden settled. But thats not yet IS IT? Hmph. Btw, I kinda had this heart-to-heart conversation with the JPJ officer while on road test. He was asking me about SPM, school, family, studies and so on. He gave me advices too, not just about the test, but for future undertakings. I was in total disbelievement at first. I met that officer only for 15 mins and he was giving me these advices that I can keep . I felt less distressed upon my failure for slope test after the road test ended. My focus was quite distorted at first, because I was talking on the time, until I forgot to turn the signal lights when arriving near the T junction. Oh well, he gave me bonus marks and I passed! Weehee thank you Pakcik, jasamu akanku kenang selama-lamanya :)

Consider this period, I mean post-SPMresults to be quite exasperating. The forms (upu matrix), looking up scholars that Im eligible and deciding the courses I want. And to be frank, I cant do this all alone. Therefore, Dad was always beside me whenever Im filling out any of the application forms online. If Im doing it alone or when he's at work, Ill be texting or calling him. Mengada sungguh -.-

Throughout my 'berkabung' period, I got scolded, comforted, supported, babbled, judged and moreee. Im grateful to have these people around me. Motivations and advices are given tremendously and continously to me, and couldnt ask for more. I hope Im still the person I know and Im simply not going to let my dark side start controlling me again, possessing my mind gruesomely and let the cloud of doom grip my soul. No no, thats definitely a no.

One thing Im sure of, this :

@KarnivalMaraPWTC

is not becoming a reality for me. I accept, aku redha. Allah has better plans for me I guess? :)

THIS WEEKEND. JOM? :)

Taa everyone.

Buat diriku yang mudah lupa

2011-03-28T20:36:00.003+08:00

Salam. Second entry for today :)

Sapa minat Ust Zahazan angkat tangan! Hehehe buku ni best best, dapat rasa hati ni terkesan and the cartoons/illustrations does help, you know just to get the picture.

DAPAT AUTOGRAPH PULAK WITH MY NAME AND OTHERRSSS :')
Cuba teka which one is my name? Wahaha.

Taa noodles.

HAI

2011-03-28T13:54:00.006+08:00

Mhmmmmmmmmmmm. Salam everyone.

Semalam semalam pergi ni :

Apabila mood tengah normal.

Pulak dahh.

Dah dapat air, okayyy :)

KBYE.

When the thunderstorm morphed into a unicorn

2011-03-23T22:23:00.005+08:00

Hi saya gedik.

tudung buruk, tembam. Sigh

Salam to all.

As everyone has expected, 23.3 was the anticipating day for them. Lets say, 11 years of sweat, hardwork, tears, smiles were poured in getting through this particular day. It was not easy, more to tedious and it requires this massive bubble of spirit in me to just keep going until the finishing line is visible from far. Oh bull, what the hell am I on about. I've been through a lot in the past following years, I was tested almost on everything. Be it family matters, friends, studies and whatever that a typical teenager has got to deal with in order to enter the phase of adulthood. Everything I do must sound so cliche right? Everything was not easy. Everything was tedious. Everything was hard.

Shut up brain, I didnt ask for you to intrude you freaking intruder.

Anyhow, Im not too happy nor too sad. I got what I deserved. Its more than enough, although the guttered-ness in me is spreading critically. I told myself repeatedly, You did well, you did well, you did well but I am still guttered. GUTTEREDDDDD HAHA. Oh this wee bit of disappointment will last probably a week or so. So apologies for my weird or queer mood that reflects to what I do or say.

Hmm I arrived quite early in the morning. By 930 the canteen was full of Seserians with their parents. Baba just dropped me off and rushed to PD for his workshop thingy. Already told Umi earlier that I wanted to go on my own. The school announced the best and outstanding students first, which was 3 people. Congrats to them, then to announcing the name of straight A's students. I know I was not one of them, Redha is all I could think of right now. A big congrats to my BFF Mimo for getting straight A's, hugged her for one minute and I felt the aura. But its not coming to me. After that, looked for Cattleya's spot and I saw Pn. Suzana there. Held my hand tightly on Hanna's and I told her to get her's first. Then, I paced towards my teacher, handed me our school's magazine and she looked at my slip first.

"Tahniah Aisyah!"

Took the slip, okay theres a freaking B+ on it, but the rest..Alhamdulillah. God knows how I feel that time. Glorified, all my hardwork was paid off. Except like I said, was quite guttered with the B. I should have put more effort into it..wait Im regretting. No, no no. Umi pesan jangan menyesal. Okay be thankful be thankful :)

And kawan-kawan straight A's tu, aku bangga dengan korang sangat-sangat. Sebab koranglah Seseri naik dengan mendadak for top 10 SBP. I hope it stays that way, fuhhh. Jangan jatuh, naik boleh la haha. Hmm I didnt get the chance to have my proper meeting with the girls. Everybody was rushing home. I dont know why. When I felt like I wanted to do something silly, the thought had to be erased. Mainly because I was alone, Farah As promised for Mid Valley, but she left without prior notice :'(. Soo I left Seseri on my own. Eh wait, tumpang Mayah until the traffic light, thanks Mayah. I took the train. And guess what. I got on the wrong one until I realised it was heading for Batu Caves. What the hell. Dah panic dah bila masuk, terus duduk pulak tu -.-. Sekali stop kat Sentul, pergi balik ke Putra. Stumbled into Yatt and mother, also Kak Khadijah, our senior's head girl. Few minutes then, the train to Rawang arrived, and I had to dash in quickly, without aiming for the Ladies Coach. Nasib baik la tak ramai orang.

At the end of the day, I was satisfied, rejuvenated (?) and uplifted! Praise to Allah, He heard my prayers at night, he made all those tears worth it.

*We got Cadbury for free, but ABRAR ATE IT ALL OFF. PISSED MAN.

Let it be

2011-03-21T21:06:00.004+08:00

Salam folks.

Just as I am typing this, I felt the thunder in my body making those loud clashing noises. I had it since this morning, the moment I lift my head from the pillow. After three rounds of Yaasin tonight, indeed I felt the power of the surah lingering in my body and...Im better I guess.

"~~Tatak~~ dah baca Yaasin for tonight?"
"Belum, going to"
"Kalau dah baca sekali, tapi still tak tenang and gabra, baca lagi sekali. Kalau boleh, tiga kali"
"Ok Ba"

Now I feel less tensed, but my head keeps on going round and round. Making films on that particular day. I know everyone keeps talking about this, their anxiety and how the day itself is so nearing. It is right, I mean I can feel how TIME envy our lives. Tomorrow will be over, without even realising it. And now, one thing that I fear the most is when I could not accept the fate, start blaming the fate and wishing everything would be back to the past.

Typical me. Im never confident with myself. I always feel stupid in everything I do, or say.

"Jangan cakap diri sendiri macam tu. Kalau kita salah, kita belajar kan?"

I held onto that quote. And after work,

"~~Tatak~~ tak yakin ke?"
"Me? Yakin? Never am. "

Ye. Aku memang orangnya, low self-esteem. Susah nak yakin kat diri sendiri. Aku dah buat mindmap untuk apa tindakan aku seterusnya bila detik-detik di sekolah hari Rabu ni berlalu. Kalau nak lari dari alam realiti, tak matang kan? Nak kunci diri dalam bilik, lagi la tak matang. Buat susah orang je.

Doa aku dari dulu, supaya Allah kurniakan keredhaan dan keimanan yang tinggi. Redha dengan ketentuanNya, takdirNya. Dan bersyukur dengan apa yang Dia bagi. Aku tak nak jadi hamba yang tak bersyukur, sebab aku selalu rasa macam tu. Kejayaan semestinya bukan milik aku dan untuk aku, tapi for my parents, teachers and of course our Supreme Protector of All.

So, in a nut shell, approximately less than 36 hours left till the Final Countdown. I wish to all my companions, Bellatrixians, SMKTDians and basically the 93's out there, remember that your triumph is always in my Du'a, whoever you are or whatever you are. I pray for your success this Wednesday and whatever happens, its still a phase of life you have to go through and we're long way to reach up to the mountains. Be it Everest or Alps or Krakatoa, its yours to grab it! And umm, I feel gay saying this but, I apologise for every single mistake that I have done. My words or actions that might have made your jolly day turns cloudy.

Once again, Im hoping for the best and a miracle to happen. Amin Ya Allah.

Purdue. Indianapolis, USA.
Someday I want a picture like this too. But Im wearing the hat. I was crying btw that time -.-

Taa people. May Allah bless.

Say whattt?

2011-03-17T13:01:00.003+08:00

Salam and pleasant greetings.

Three days already of driving class. So far so good. Lets just hope I wont get any of those mati enjin moments anymore, I DIEEEEE. Hmph. I just want the license fast, since everybody around me has already got their P license..and even my maid teases me for not having one yet. Nice one kakak bibik. you are very supportive -.-. The last class would be on the 22nd. The next day..is history. Just wait and see. Oh God, I should be doubling up my efforts with the Almighty.

Time ni la kena jaga hubungan dengan Allah, dan hubungan dengan manusia. I am still trying my best to do that, whatever happens in my life right now, I take it positively. Because after 23.3 passes, I presume that everything will totally change 180 degree, the least that is. By that, my family, my appetite (-.-), my emotions, and how I learn to accept things way beyond than I expected. It's all either negative or positive.

Oh ya, my juniors were starting to say things like 'Tak sabar nak tengok akak next week' 'Mesti akak dah bulat kan' on FB. Terima kasih adik-adik. Akak pun tak sabar nak jumpa korang, itupun kalau sempat la. Lepas ambik result, akak cabut pergi Mid Valley, nak merajuk dengan dunia. Haha. So tak dapat la jumpa ye :P

Anyhow, had a fever attack on Monday out of the blue. So I spent 5 hours on the bed, trying to avoid my body from evaporating water from the towel. And then driving class, at 3 -.-. Now, continously I have a bad throat and hard coughs. Its been going on for days now. Strepsils are the current solution, aside from Du'a.

Wanna know something? Havent eaten rice for one week. And the weighing scale isnt LYING! Yesmegeshh!

KBYE.

Oh bother

2011-03-16T10:06:00.004+08:00

Salam.

Lets talk shall we.

From the moment the 93's were released from their devils den, I was stuck and glued to this for a month :

Then this (Kdrama as well -.-) :

This one , MITM Season 7, finished watching 22 episodes within one week -.-

This show left unwatched since I arrived in Malaysia from UK, then it has Season 3! OHHH!

Lastly, onto this show which I barely missed watching on 8tv.

Dah dah dah aku tau aku memang seorang yang membuang masaaaaaaa. Tapi kali ni je bolehh? :D

Action!

2011-03-12T00:18:00.005+08:00

Ustaz yang selalu kat on air kat Ikim.fm

Dah menggilo jumpa camera -.-'

Budak-budak Kafa

Sajak :D

Nasyid budak-budak Kafa

Tart :)

Bakal imam

Before solat Maghrib

Fun night, but tiring. Good food, selera orang kampung meh :P
DADIH ALERT! Wahaha, managed to bring some home yesmegesh.

Selamat Malam :)

Seorang diri

2011-03-10T19:42:00.005+08:00

Di tengah hangatnya kejahilan
Membakar hangus keimanan
Dan aku hanyut
Tiada berpaut
Layu sudah pedoman diriku

Kini bersendiri
Ku meniti hari
Ke kanan ke kiri
Ku menilai kembali

Jalan ku lalui
Dosa yang telah pergi
Walau tanpa ku sedari
Air mata membasahi

Terasakan ... terbuka
Kunci pintu hatiku
Timbullah ketenangan di jiwa yang keliru
Terurai kekusutan
Membaralah cinta
Milik-Mu Yang Esa
Selamanya...

Pada-Mu selamanya .. oh...
Selamanya...

Best words that would fit anyone in confusion and dilemma. To Him, forever and eternity .

Oh before I forget, you's out there, do look for this book at your nearest bookstore :

A heart-touching masterpiece by a person that I quite admire (her novels, article) Fatimah Syarha and this book was a gift from a mother to her daughter before she sits for her SPM examination hihi. Sempat lagi la katakan. The first time reading it, I started to have these very childish imagination of stuffs..errr yeah. Haha. Then my Seserian friends wanted to read this book as well so the book wasnt in my hand for a time being. Suitable for muslimeen and muslimats, the purple color is just an attraction, so READ OKAY! :)

Umi knows the passion I have for reading, and maybe she thinks its time I get exposed to these abstract things that makes up a part of who we are :)

Night everyone <3

Bad Hair Day

2011-03-08T14:55:00.004+08:00

Salam to all.

Kids. They are revenging on me.

Yesterday :

Abrar was sick. Fever, cough, cold. He drank strawberry milk while he was not supposed to. Okay. Then at night, while waiting for Criminal Minds to start, he was coughing like mad for about 10 minutes. His coughs were starting to sound like he was going to barf any minute now. So I picked him up, and wanted to bring him to the toilet. At that particular moment, yes that moment, he had to puke on me didnt he? And yes, pink gooey stuffs was all over me. And right at that time, I screamed until the whole house heard me. I dashed to the toilet quickly, strip abrar off. Had to shower myself again that night. I smell so nice. Yuck.

Today :

I had to handle the classes all alone. I was out of voice,tune, pitch..whatever you want to call it. Firstly, its Tuesday, the day where they go playground around Desamas. But it rained this morning. So its indoor activity. Penat, penat and penat is all I could say. Ada yang tak dengar cakap, buat hal sendiri, sekali tegur buat dekkkk je. Haduhhhh. Panas otak I. Memang my patience is tested like hell today. Sekali ada 3 orang students aku tengah main lari-lari kat dalam kelas before rehat habis dan menghampiri satu bilik salinan budak-budak transit yang GELAP. This is my chance.

" Eh awak b'tiga, sini jap. Cikgu nak tunjuk something" *directs to the bilik salinan*
" Ada apa cikguu?"
"Masukkkk dalam bilik ni sekarang"
*zapppppppp.pintu aku pegang*
"Cikguuuu! Cikgu nak kurung kitaorang ke?" *muka dah cuak*
"Awak semua buat perangai tadi kan? Sorang excited sangat, sorang wacha-wacha tak habis, sorang lagi tak dengar cakap!"
"Cikguuu nak keluar takut gelapp ni!"
"Janji ngn cikgu awak tak buat lagi perangai. Janji sekarang! Angkat tangan!"
"Kitaorang janji cikgu nak keluar cepattttt!"

And I let them. Janji melayu la katakan.

Nearing to hometime, when all the kids were waiting for their transport, a 4 year old who couldnt wait to the to loo, peed in his pants right in front of my freaking eyes. Oh Allah. Now what. Of course I was screaming that time, I was drinking air sirap for crying out loud -.-
Same thing..same procedure..same reactions. After I bathed him, powdered the face and everything. I said :

" Lain kalau nak .... kena ca....?"
"Cakapp.."
"Bagus. Kalau tak duduk atas, jangan turun"

_________________________________________________________________

Im so tired today, and yet no one in this house seems to care. So why bother eh? I dont feel like sleeping either. Agaknya dapat balasan ke aku buat budak-budak tu macam tu? :S

Song of the day :

<33 This song melts me right to the bottom!

Main dengan paint, seronok la pulak. Bila wifi meroyan. Huhh -.-'

Taa people.

Hantu Kak Uteh :P

2011-03-06T22:38:00.007+08:00

Salam to all.

Haha, as you can see, the title looks a bit dimwit isnt it? Well! I had a blasting weekend this week! Spent at Ibu and Kak Yang's house at Cheras. The plan was to accompany Kak Yang watch Khurafat and Damping Malam. See Im a good movie friend you know! Haha. Okay, cut to the chase, we watched Khurafat first, since it was bought from an original package. Yeah I went to watch it at Mid Valley the other day, but only for 20 mins simply because the TRAIN was late, I was LATE and RM12 gone just like that. Whatevs. Surprinsingly, there were a few scenes where I actually jumped or screamed, because of the stupid ghost keep appearing suddenly beside that girl what'shername in the car or in the corpse room or WHEREVER! After that, prayed Asar and watched Damping Malam which I find not so terrifiying (belagak tu) at all. Tapi setting movie tu kat Semashur. Memang cantiklah! Then, I watched Evan Almighty at Kak Yang's lappy, while she was playing some frog shooting pigs game on the Galaxy Tab (ala iPad :P). It was hysterical. Ive never laughed so hard (Allah forgive me!) ALONE! Kak Yang laughed at me because I was laughing to myself. Which looked disturbing.

Okay movie, movie jugak. The next day was planned. To go to Seseri, just had stuffs to settle (Wadhi) and she asked me to tag along. Firstly, I was confirmed that I saw Ms. Norsham's car passing the gate, while waiting for that minah to arrive. Then I told Wadhi, nak buat massacre kat sekolah pun boleh, Ms.Norsham tak ada *evil eyes*. Signed our names at the guard (Robokop tidak kelihatan. Rindu. Cehh.) and headed straight down. Suddenly, Ms. Norsham was there, standing in her baju kaftan glaring at us. Okay menggelabah.

me : Wadhi, jomlah. Dia pandang-pandang tu.

Wadhi : *tak ingat la pulak Wadhi cakap apa* -.-'

So it was the usual stuff, how are you, what have you been doing, you're coming here again next 2 weeks (-.-'), how are you feeling about your batch's performance. I told her that I had a dream about going there and obtaining my slip. It was.....heaven. I was in heaven, I mean my own heaven of course. And guess what she said " Orang tua-tua kata selalunya mimpi tu akan jadi terbalik". NEVERRRRRRRR! Umi said the same thing when I told her about the dream. Oh I forbid!

And then she said something I would not LIKE to hear,

" Teacher, you dont remember me ah teacher?"
"Youre in my set right? Aisyah?" *she remembered my name haha*
"Why so bulat now? I couldnt recognise you then, "

-.-'

She had to say it. Imagine me going there on the 23rd and I doubt that even my friends will recognise me. Oh no no no. Tu lah makan lagi samosa ayam setiap hari.

Then, to The Mall. Boooooooring, went there last week for Nina's outing. Off to Putra KTM and Mid Valley here we come. Waited anxiously because I was not sure of which platform to choose. Not my fault that I totally forgot. It was hot hot hot and hot hot hot. I had to tag my so-called backpack along with my dirty clothes in it. Okay not exactly a backpack, its Cotton On's totebag that I adore so much. I feel like a backpacker though. Arrived there at 12, my mission is to look for a bag. In the end, I didnt just buy a bag, but a book from MPH and jogging pants from Scarlet. Dear me, dear me.

Seems interesting to read, again the setting is in World War 2 :)

Met Nana there with her friend and they kinda just followed me looking for my stuffs since they were waiting for Ira and Diana which poor Wadhi didn't get to meet. Haha. Basically, when I go shopping, I will wander off on my own. Nana was like " Mun cepatnya kau jalan! Penat aku nak kejar!" hihi sorry Nana, my bad.

All I can say is, besides sitting at home watching MITM season 7 finished, meeting them was a bit of what I call mindsetting-breakoutfree thing. If one does not understand, I command or wish you to not to understand. Oh yeah, I ate McFlurry for lunch. Legs and arms and muscles are still aching for playing badminton with Maizan the other day. Let alone walking a lot for today. I need rest.

1 Wadhi yang poyo posingnya (padahal aku yang suruh haha)

2 Masya-Allah, saya jumpa Superstar lah :)

Bon Soir , mon amies :)

Yesterday was easy.

2011-03-03T13:31:00.006+08:00

Salam to all.

It was sweet of Ms Khor acknowledging us..but sweeter if she includes the date as well. Thanks Ms. Khor. You rock.

Mhmmmm.
Lets just say, I had a horrifiying movie playing in my theater of unconscious mind. It was not sweat that made me wet when I arise, but it was tears running down my cheeks. Had I been weeping for the past few hours? I did, and as I blinked my eyes, I was still crying. I cried in my sleep for this first time this year. And it had always been the same dream since I was old enough to have my soul separating from my body. Same old reasons, same old people, but maybe the setting was different, somewhere else.

Weak, thats all I am. Just weak. Punch me, slit me, kick me, behead me and you wont have to worry out of your guts no more.

Hmmmm.

2011-02-28T14:38:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

Uhmmm.
Being fascinated by aquatic creatures, since I was small. Explains why I love the blue colour so much, blue crystal clear water of the ocean full of colorful sea creatures and BEAUTIFUL CORAL REEF! and why I like glaring at sharks. Glaring or being 'awed' at people being eaten by it. Okay joke. Maybe sharks has nothing to do with whats in my mind right now, but shark is an aquatic creature..that kills. Sounds terrifiying doesnt it? A friend of mine stated that this profession is still needed in Malaysian's marine industry or whatever society you call it, but theres no life. All you do is spending hours at the sea and get seasick. But once you put commitment and passion, nothing gets in your way, insyaAllah. Right?

But schedule is quite tight isnt it?

Pray, pray and pray ;)

Oh yeahh, been listening to The Beatles and John Lennon since this afternoon, courtesy of me friend, Fai.

Currently stuck in me head :p

Do listen yeah? Dedicated to all of the 'Woman' out there. Hehe :)

Ragam

2011-02-24T23:18:00.004+08:00

Salam to all.

Somehow, I just felt like blurting this out. A moment I had with my younger brother, which seemed quite sweet. Gay me, I knowww. Tiba-tiba je malam ni nak kecoh. Haha.

Anyways, aktiviti warga 7 Desa 2/2 ialah, let see.

Umi : wrapping Saufi's new books
Baba : ZZZ, with the blanket covering his body -.-
Nurul : Reading iluvislam tabloid
Abrar : Eating cheesy baked pasta!

and last but not least, yours truly : lupa la pulak aku buat apa tadi. okay dah ingat, membaca Hourglass. Yes finally I finished it.

And suddenly, the door banged. Along came Polly..eh no. Along came the Teletubby (human version)

" ~~Tatak~~ nak Taaa. Taaaa." * sambil menunjuk mangkuk Honey Stars dia.

" ~~Tatak~~ tengah baca buku ni laaaa "

" ~~Tatak~~ nak Taaaaaaa. "

" Yela yela budakkk ni."

Okay, I was reading Hourglass, with my telekung on -.-' (malas nak bukak) and I felt sooo lazy to get up. I was enjoying the sad moment of the story when Bianca was so weak as a vampire and lying down on the bed, that finally she dies, leaving Lucas beside her, becoming a wraith. And Lucas was CRYING! Oh that moment was so tense, and the Teletubby had to ruin it.

Back to the story, so I was like, " Teman tatak turun. Come with me"
He followed. It was already pitch black downstairs, I was not terrified or anything. Just having a company was nice. He held out his hand, I knew he was not afraid of the dark and I held his hand. We made our way down the stairs, and he kept on repeating 'Taa taa'.
I said " Abrar, bukan taa la, PAS-TA."
"ssTaa"
"PAS-TA".
Then finally, " PAS-TA" hehe. He listened well. So I asked him again, "Abrar nak makan apa tadi? " and he answered clearly " PAS-TA"
"Good boy. Sayang Abrar <3 "

Sampai je dapur, still his hands tightly on mine. Cedokkan pasta dalam mangkuk biru dia, then naik atas balik.

Itu sahaja.

:)

He is We - Give It All Lyrics

2011-02-23T14:02:00.003+08:00

In like with the words :')

The Well

2011-02-21T12:07:00.003+08:00

You see that picture there clearly? Its a house and a well in front of it. I love the well and the movie 'The Ring' (be it 1 or 2, I love both) gave me inspirations. The question is, why? Well, as you can see the well or perigi as the malays would call it, is built by digging a hole very very deep. Then, to make the architecture more interesting rather than leaving a hole on the ground like that, brick by brick will be added, cement acts as the 'glue' that stick the bricks together. Leave the well for decades and centuries, then come back. It will look very appealing. Its easy as une deux trois. Living in the well means you are far far from a breath of a human being, or an animal. Noises may be heard, but not that they can harm you or anything. Now lets see the necessary needs of human. Food and water? Its a well love! Drink the water from it, its absolutely natural. Food? Scratch the minerals on the bricks, there, no need for digestion or assimilation. Shelter or protection? This :

Ignore Samara. I can assure you that, no one even dares to look or take a single glance at this well. So, thats done. Next, personal belongings like clothes, books, mobile phone, laptop? Hmm thats one to be considered. But, since you are living in a well for various reasons, I dont think it matters no more. Survival is the art of living right? To get away from those sickening and repulsive affairs of life, survive and try to live inside a well and never tell a soul about it.

Does my figurative idea disturbs you? This is what I do, exaggerate things that are related to life. When there is another phase that we have to go through, and you find it tedious, what will you do? Its a rhetorical question and I hope I dont have to find the answers, because its already here somewhere.

Okay back to reality and sorry for being weird, my bad -.-'.
Being a person in different school uniforms for the past 11 years, there were always things that get in your way when you are trying to achieve something. Single-minded with one goal, you are trying to find the purpose of living in this planet. Do you know your purposes? Again, thats for others to think and for me to keep in mind. As a muslim, we made an agreement with the Almighty before we were born into the realm of reality. Are we willing to carry out the responsibility he gave to us, big or small, hard or easy? The answer is yes. Because here we are, using his advances, by that I mean the nikmats or rahmats he gave to us. And yet, I myself sometimes doubt his actions. Thats very sinful of me right? I seek forgiveness from Allah. But then again the Satan will never stop persuading and provoking us. Thats their oath and they will never leave their tracks. To destroy the muslims mankind. Nevertheless, our Daulah Islamiyyah will be once risen from below, just waiting for the right moment and take whats ours. InsyaAllah.

Heres something :

Mom : Assalamualaikum my dear. How are you today?

Baby : Waalaikumussalam my dear mom. I'm feeling good today mom. But there are something growing out from my body!!! (his arms & legs) what are these mom? I don't like it. It keeps getting in my way. I can't move as freely as I used to be before!

Mom : Owh that are your hands and your legs my darling. Alhamdulillah, you are growing as you should.

Baby : Can you make it go away mom? I don't need these hands and legs. They are of no use to me now.

Mom : You must not say that! Be grateful dear. You will need them when you are born. You will need it to walk on this earth. To be Allah's servant. You will be in such a great loss if you don't have them in the future.

Simple and direct, yet it means a thousands. Thats our purpose and for me, its just about to start.

This is merely a confession and a motivation for myself. How I deal things in the inside to the outside. Hidayah from Him is not easy to be obtained because He decides the right time for the right person. Once theres Hidayah, then theres Iman. Something you have to keep safely and make it the most precious thing you have. Please dont judge for what I wrote, its all in my head, needed to be expressed as words. Apologies if I have said something uneven. Not intentionally aimed at anyone or to hurt anyone's feelings because I have feelings too.

I have been thinking a lot lately and the results are coming out maybe by the end of this month. The well is supposed to be metaphorical and symbolizes my fear, how I want to run away from it. But thats never going to happen, I hope. So now, Im not thinking straight. Tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang. Even when Im teaching the kids at school, the possible dates were lingering in my head, wishing it to go away. Baba cakap semalam ' Tatak, you've done the farthest and you worked hard for it. Now its the time for you to tawakkal. Whatever Allah gives to you, be thankful and redha is the most important thing.'

Yes, indeed. Im just hoping for the best people! Not to forget, to other 93's out there. So chin up AM :)

You were born into this world to..

2011-02-16T13:16:00.005+08:00

Salam Maulidur Rasul and pleasant greetings :)

Its Wednesday right? Meaning I have to wake up early again. I dont know why, but it felt like as its Monday. You know..those people that goes to work on Mondays would feel slightly lazy to even get up from the bed. Wishing it was Sunday again so that they can make bigger world maps on pillow or not even getting up from the bed? Ew lets not get too detailed here. Yes thats definitely how I felt this morning. I was late already. Only managed to eat 2 chunks of nugget. And when I arrived at the school, a sudden feeling of wanting a pillow popped into my mind. I was like, what -.-'. Sangat mengantuk and tengok muka budak-budak pun memang nampak bangun lambat. Lagila terasa macam nak sambung tido kat katil. Aiyooo. Not hazy Monday no more, but Hazy Wednesday!

Okay, I dedicate this post specially for my little brother, who just turned 6 yesterday. If it was Cbeebies, I would have made those fancy greeting cards that has their favourite Cbeebies character, with lots of glitters and papier mache. Cooool huh. Oh papier mache reminded me of Art Attack -.-', I miss that guy, whats his name? Neil? Haha.

A fine morning before heading to school, when Saufi was one day old, a Crumpsall born :). The night snowed when he was born, so we called him Saufi Snowy, but the title didnt last long -.-' Somehow this picture made my tear dropped. Going to school everyday was the most joyful thing that could happen in my life. I enjoyed school so much because I was always happy, never had those stupid melancholic moments, well not exactly never, but those times were unimportant, need not to be reminisced. I loved the teachers, loved the friends. I dont get stressed over homeworks, no freaking psychotic PMS attacks and all I did was laugh? Going to the back field behind the tennis courts and dandelions everywhere, ohh inilah hidupku dahulu :)

When Saufi was one year old.

Saufi, now :)

Happy Birthday Saufi, ~~Tatak~~ loves you. Be a good boy okay :)

See the leg

2011-02-12T18:57:00.006+08:00

Salam and Guten Tag.

Since I have this new lappy, I have the urge to blog almost everything that happened within the day. So lets blog. Its Saturday, thinking that I might be able to conquer the whole bed while Nurul goes to school. Lets not dream . Another day of trembling legs and hands, I was to help or compulsorily be involved in the kenduri of my boss's son.

Ust Liza : Aisyah, esok awak kena datang tau tolong, cikgu-cikgu wajib datang.
AM : Ohh okay, InsyaAllah. Pukul berapa datang?
Ust Liza : Kalau boleh, seawal lapan pagi.

When I say trembling legs and hands, it really did. I came there early around 845 and my eyes looked for familiar faces to be recognised. Nada. All I can see is Desamas people mostly were frying chickens and slicing out cucumbers. Im scared to be friendly or huha huha with the makciks/opahs that were in control of the kitchen. Mainly because they were speaking in their own origin language and I dont understand. Some of them are quite garang too. Isnt it weird when I got kamcing straightaway with this kakak that I dont even know and we started getting basins from people's house or those food containers from this atok's house. I seriously dont have a clue who these people are. Yet, I was trying to be a help to everyone. One incident that got me got me embarassed. I was trying to get a spoonful of rice onto the plate, and I knocked the spatula (or whatever the right term is) on the rice container. Suddenly,

Opahtakkenal : Jangan ketuk senduk tu sayang. Menangis nasi tu nanti.

AM : Ohh. Okay. Soryy.

=.='

Frankly, thats sort of a habit, at home. Obviously I wouldnt want to waste even one tiny rice, so its better to do that. Lets see, I was at the tadika for 7 hours straight. It would be a lie if I say that Im not fatigue. I was and still am. When I have nothing else to, I made myself busy. Carilah penyapu ke apa. Deeply in my heart, I was cursing. Sorry me. At the end of the day, I took 7 or 8 Dadihs that were in excess. I wanted to bring the whole box. And, I got this :

Isnt this the cutestttttt? And its in blue hehe
I also met a few of my students. They were like, 'Cikgu, cikgu nampak lain' or 'Ustazah, kenapa cikgu tak pakai speck?' Haha kids.

Cikguuuu tangkap gambar sayaaaa.

Kat pelamin pulak Ustazahhh.

Cikgu pun nak bergambar jugak kan? :D

Lastly, while we were cleaning up after the kenduri ended, the amplifier was playing songs then it was this song that I loved since I was in primary school , Demi Cinta Suci by UNIC. Awh havent heard that song for ages. This kenduri is quite unique I'd say. I mean theres no pelamin and no table set aside for the bride and groom. The bride was beautifully dressed up as a real muslimah and I was amazed truly. Indeed, I was surrounded with fully-hijabbed women, and I mean fully like this :

I feel so modest and I pondered, will I ever be like one of them? What does it feel like to be in their shoes? They must have this strong feeling that they are always protected from all sorts of evil. I'm not qualified to be like them yet. InsyaAllah, its Allah's power to do so and that also requires me to improve myself better.

Taa people.

More Priceless than you think

2011-02-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

These words really touched my heart and until now, I couldnt stop thinking.

Its Middle

2011-02-09T13:38:00.006+08:00

Salam.

Somehow I feel like today was a long day. Is it because its Wednesday? Furthermore, its hot too. I bathed early this evening because apparently I was sweating for the whole time and my face felt flushed and oily. Ew. No mood swings, except I had a big row with Saufi, which was so idiotic of me. I guess I was bored? And its fun? Wth.

Lets see, I think I was quite active at work today, I mean moving around quite a lot. There was always 'Cikguuuu dah siap', 'Cikguuuu nak colour yang mana?' or this frequent dialogue I heard everyday from a pair of twins, very cute and I still cant differentiate which is which (my bad -.-') is ' Ustazah hari ni saya nak beli hotdog sebab saya lapar' and my response ' Belilahhh. Awak nak beli sampai satu pinggan pun Ustazah bagi' . LOL. These twins memang cheeky but smart at the same time.

So I asked Ust. Liza, why dont I help in doing the markings? All I need to do is to grade the pictures they coloured, which sounds simple. However, not when the pictures are messy and the colours are constantly out from the line. Now thats annoying, but they're just kids right?

Moving on to the evening, where this part of the day, I will do something planned or unplanned.

There you go. But then, Umi insisted me to go grocery shopping with her. So I went to NSK, along with Saufi and Abrar. I havent been there for ages, since before SPM. Just as Umi was looking for the goods, I saw MiSedaap Mi goreng Asli for RM2.80! Dah lama aku nak try makan Mee Indon ni, memang sedaaaaaap. Huuuh. I have to hide it somewhere from Nurul. *evil eyes*

This face can never be trusted!

And, just as I arrived home, I received a letter from TM College, offering a Diploma in Multimedia.

Aisyah Munirah = Multimedia.

No, not good. Haha.

Taa everybody :)

Whispers

2011-02-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

I need to find a way..to get out of this. Its torturing me, deeply inside.

Oh Allah :(

Enough

2011-02-07T13:31:00.005+08:00

Gunung Lang tercinta.

Salam to all.

Lets welcome the new 'toy' in town. Welcome! .. -.-' be my companion until the day of my last breath. Lol.

Finally, Nina has gone back to her second home, and she wont have the chance to touch this new 'toy' again. I wont let her..which sounds quite impossible. The lappy cant be left alone for even a millisecond, seriously not when shes around. And Nurul the halfman has stomachache. So shes an absentee today.

I started the day after I was unable to zzzzz after subuh for some reasons. Freshen up and opened the wardrobe. Looked for my favourite purple jubah to wear to work..and it was not there. Asked kakak, and she said Umi gave it to her. Without my acknowledgement. Upset I suppose. The day couldnt be any better.

Lets not care about that. Went to my hometown in Ipoh for two weddings, in one day. Glorioussss nasi minyakkkk yummmmmmm. There was Ayam Masak Merah, Rendang Tok and lots of papadom. I love papadoms, seriously. I was in food heaven! I can eat and eat and eat. But thinking about my so-called mission, I have to let go the lust of eating too much in me! Imagine, it was two weddings in one day and I couldnt wish for more. Plus, it was a sunny day and I had a black hijab on. My head felt hot -.-'

One memorable thing was when we dropped by at Wanalang's house in Taman Kledang Raya, I met Hawani Zamri! Woweeeeee I was so glorified to meet her. And she noticed me because I was wearing Adioda's baju kurung. Kantoi -.-'. But then we had a small chat and talked about some stuff, PLKN especially. She was bragging about how fantastic PLKN is. Nahh not influenced hehe

On the way home, stuck in blady traffic for almost five hours in the car. When everyone is sleeping, I was staring out of the window for the whole time. Even if it was dark. When the rest woke up, its like earthquake in there. No more peace, not when you have screaming siblings and was forced to watch Alif Ba Ta cd repeatedly for more than ten times. I was desperate to be home.

The moment I saw my bed, I had entered into another world of fantasy of my own, called Dreamland.

RINDU :)

2011-02-06T14:11:00.002+08:00

Nanti Kak Aimun visit korang yeeeeeeeee :')

Passion

2011-02-02T17:49:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

Todays input is to avoid sleeping, as I dont have work today. So I planned on making one of my all-time favourite confections, which creampuffs. At first, I, naively follow the instructions without understanding properly and I thought the mixture was a disaster. But then, after popping it in the oven for a test, it rised and I thought it looked a bit similar to Dorayaki. Watthefrish. All I can say is, alhamdulillah it turned out to be quite nice in the end heehee :D
Everybody in the kitchen has doubts on my being-in-the-kitchen ability simply because I stayed at the hostel for almost 1 and a half year. My bad okay and I totally proved them wrong! :D
Im happy today for various reasons. I get to have a long chat with deary Mimokjer, my partner in crime for 28 mins. Oh I missed talking to her :') and I hope Allysha Michael is enjoying her CNY!

Food for thought

2011-01-31T21:56:00.004+08:00

Salam to all.

Just a reminder from Kak Mimi, my ex-senior from batch Vivacious :). What she said, is definitely true.

Please click the thumbnail for a larger view :)

Satu pagi yang indah...

2011-01-30T13:02:00.004+08:00

Salam to all and Greetingsss.

Satu pagi yang indah? No, dont think so. Woke up from a bad and stupid dream. Haish Ive been having this quite frequently nowadays. Okay I had loooong day out yesterday. Strolling in Sogo, looking for Umi's shoes, while I had to babysit Abrar that is currently very sick and kept quiet most of the time and Opah too. After 1 hour and a half waiting, 4 shoes were bought. Umi got 2 pairs of shoes, Nina and Opah. I looked for jeans after that.

This is merely a confession, but I had trouble looking for the right jeans. Mostly were tight and I dont like wearing tight jeans that stick out my flabbs. I wanted to cry. Now I hate shopping. No thats a lie. Wait till I get my hands on my first salary.

Then arrived home around 7. The plan for that night was just lepaking. Until bapa came into my room and asked for a company to the badminton court. Oh no, this is dangerous. Us three sisters started giving out excuses, and was pushing with each other. Being the eldest, kenala jugak pergi. Asal sulung je, aku yang kena. Haish.

It was eleven something, so I got my jubah on. Not bothered to change and I had my pyjamas on -.-'. I chose not to go inside the court and stayed in the car. Karang orang pelik la pulak, asal la ada minah berjubah nak main badminton ni? It was not that dark, but I guess it was okay. Spent 15 mins reading a book and then I felt sleepy after that, zzzzzz.

Dont do that again Baba please. And no, you wont actually stumble into Langsuir or Penanggal or Pocong, they're too busy working at phase 10. lol. Next day, pegi badminton court tu lagi. Semua pegi, except saufi yang demam pulak. I didnt play, malas and just took pictures.

Esok kerja.

Taaa.

False

2011-01-26T00:22:00.004+08:00

Salam to all.

Today the lil kids went to the playground. And one bad news, Abrar dmam teruk. He couldnt walk or stand properly. He was extremely weak Cand body temp was so high. Abrar cepat baik please :(

A thought : I should not have high hopes. Im just humiliating myself.

Mengapa Wanita Memerlukan Lelaki? | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

2011-01-23T23:11:00.001+08:00

Mengapa Wanita Memerlukan Lelaki? | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

- Best sungguh artikel ni. Must read!

Terima Kasih Daun Pandan

2011-01-22T21:07:00.003+08:00

SALAM TO ALL.

Finally, dah lulus test undang-undang. Aku balik rumah tersenyum dengan perut yang kelaparan. Dahla pagi tadi lambat, kesian Uncle tu tunggu aku sorang je. Baba pergi masjid bawak kunci, so aku kelam kabut la cari kunci kat dalam rumah tu. Last-last aku keluar rumah ikut tingkap yang tak berkunci kat bilik Opah. Opah dahla tengah mengaji Al-Quran time tu, bayangkan it was 630 in the morning.

Luckily, hari ni geng Rawang habis awal. Sampai Country Homes around 12. Sampai je terus singgah Bidayah makan.

Aku tidur pukul 12 semalam. Tapi insomniac, aku rasa macam nak menangis je. 2 jam tak boleh tidur. Pukul 3 pagi ada makhluk ni buat gangguan telefon. Aku rasa macam nak bunuh je makhluk ni. Aku ada ujian undang-undang lagi 2 jam lebih and kau buat aku rasa nak hentak-hentak je kepala tu. Tah apa kau merepek kat aku. Tak mengapa, nanti siap la kau :)

Jangan takut. I'm still the same me, except that I'm extremely annoyed with some people making me as their victim. Im not being so oversensitive, but its happening frequently. And sometimes deep down in my heart will say are you really my friend? I feel absolutely toyed by you. When you're in grief, you'll seek my help. And I helped you, without expecting anything in return. But you just dont seem to get it, and Im getting much more fed up with it. You were quiet for sometime, and then out the blue I am like your guardian angel.

Haish penat la emo emo ni.

Moved On - 210111

2011-01-21T18:30:00.003+08:00

Press play.

Thank you for everything because in the end, all I got was pain.

The Red Strap

2011-01-20T20:14:00.003+08:00

Salam to all and Greetings :)

Yes today is public holiday! Which means Im off from work. See, I started working yesterday with these lil kids that barely knows me. But, they are after all kids right? Dont mind having the new person in town. So they called me Ustazah Aisyah. Awwwww I kinda like the idea of them calling me that. Basically what they did was mengaji, colouring and memorising aeiou and singing songs that I used to sing when I was in Khairaa. Overall, I definitely enjoyed it. Its like handling 20 of abrar's demands and saufi's moaning. You get me.

Moving on to today, had an awesome time with Pinggans. Finally, I made it through. It was hard for Baba to let me go on my own, just like that in public transports. But I made it, for the first time travelling on my own :) Then again, being in a suckish system, do annoys me. The coach was like a packed sardine can. Compressed with people. Then watching these so called teenagers being rude to the elder people. A woman beside me texting her friend saying (yes, dah ternampak) :

" So scared looking at these students nowadays. Never respect the elders. Wishing that they wouldnt be my students"

So, I guess thats what other passengers had in mind. Texting to their friends or families is one way of expressing their thoughts. I just stood there, and be oblivious.

I was late for the movie. When I arrived, the movie was going to end and I was in there for only 20 mins. What a crap. The train came so late. Then it was just strolling down the shops and talked about stuffs happening in our lives. But I was truly overjoyed meeting them and hoping that one day we'll meet again someday.

Sigh with me

2011-01-16T00:22:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

All I can say is that I was and still devastated with myself. I feel like Im unfathomable, everything is. Im tired of thinking too hard about tiny and silly things that doesnt get myself to Syurga. Its really painful, and sometimes, I dont have the courage to withstand anymore of these nonsense. I dont think Im needed to be in this reality. Im no good, no use. Not to mention deteriorating my loved ones hopes on me. How to face them and all. I want to give up, but hope is still there. Oh God, I wish I can cry a bucket full :'(

Im nothing, nada, nil, zero. Im a failure to my parents and yet they dont seem to mind much, which kinda hurts me even more because they are looking out for me no matter what. Maybe I wronged Allah, maybe just maybe :(

Sorry seems to be the hardest word but IM TRULY SORRY that maybe at a particular moment I will let you down forever and I cannot fulfill your dreams in seeing me as a better person. IM SORRY that one day I might ruined your hopes and at the end of the day, you could only say 'Its okay, Its His will and he decided this for you. Every cloud has its silver lining'.

Im sorry for being so emotional here. But no one would understand me. It might seem small and stupid, but it certainly has made me feel so bad and sad that I cannot even endure it.

Sorry :'( . You can hate me if you want.

Fairytale

2011-01-13T23:26:00.003+08:00

COMELL @@@

COMELL LAGI @@@

Salam to all.

How long have I not been updating this shed? Busy? Not quite, well for the weekend yes. The wedding of my cousin went smoothly. And the pengapit mission went well, I guess. Okay I dont want to have flashbacks on that. Hateeee.

The driving test went smoothly. But I feel like killing myself that time.

What else?
OMG You're Beautiful ended officially yesterday at 8TV. IM SOO SADDDDD I COULD CRYY.

KTHXBYE.

After 2010

2011-01-02T21:14:00.004+08:00

Salam to all.

Im not being me, seriously. Ive gone quite obsessed with YB. Ive been watching it online, and its more preferable because its not dubbed by some unknown voices. Stayed up late, like 3-4 hours before Subuh arises and and been doing that for the past few days. Had to take turns for the laptop with Nina, and now shes gone to her beloved boarding school. Wahaha. This is going to be fun. Still, aku ada geng kat Facebook. I admire JGS so much, that his character in YB is way different than he is in real life.
EHEHE. Please dont be mad. Its just once in a lifetime, to actually have an obsession over something that entertains you :D

So yesterday was the first day of 2011. A decade has gone by. Reading the newspapers, they gave a lot of this decade's highlights. Not that it bothers me or anything. Anyways, yesterday Ive been busy with Kiki's nikah at Cheras. The night before that, I slept late at 4 watching YB. Then the next day I had to wake up at 630. Then at their house, before leaving, like all the woman/girls were told to hold one of the hantarans. So I cleverly took the tray that has fresh flowers with a glass or a crystal vase. Since everybody was busy that time, I took no notice and just hurried by to the car. Suddenly, the bottom of the tray kinda got hit by my niece's head and then panggggggggggggg. There goes the crystal vase, 'sprawled' to pieces on the floor, with the flowers too. And I started shaking. I was cursing in my head like mad and absolutely felt stupid for the incidence. I didnt know what to say then. Just another bad luck I guess, on the New Year's Day morning. The next wedding is on the 9th of Jan. Guess what, I have to be the pengapit. *shudders*

Good Luck to my friends that will attending the National Service tomorrow, or the day after. Whatever it is, this is the chance for you guys to make more new friends, or meeting your jodoh like what other humans would say and burning calory mission. Sigh. Thats the advantage of getting selected, you dont have to worry about excercising your body after a day bloated with food.

To our juniors, Selamat Menyambut Tahun Mengambil SPM! Haha. This year is definately gonna be tough but always stand on your feet and keep them going :). And I hope you guys will be nice to your upcoming juniors okay :D

Peace within people.

TT

2010-12-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

One day left till the new year. Oh no.
Whatevs. So let see what Ive been doing lately. Singapore and JB was good, did some shopping at Orchard Street. There goes my eyes *.*. And Universal Studios was a heck of fun. Although some people say its smaller compared to the one in LA. Still havent had a ride on some roller coaster for quite a long time.

Then back on Sunday. No more holidays for this year. End of story.

Guess what. I went to Aisyah's crib. Im such a lame for being the last person blogging about this. So we went ice skating on Monday, they picked Nina and me up from PJ then straight to Sunway. Luck was not on my side that day, slipped over a glass of bottle or a rock ( I was not even sure) and...I cut my foot. Bleeding all the way, thank God Aisyah has a plaster. So..I couldnt skate. And thats not a reason or and excuse okay. They are the saviour haha!

Oh and Ameer was there too. Hadnt met for so long, since 2006 I think? And now hes taller than me. Shows that I havent grown in terms of height, but in terms of wideness, yes I have. Nice meeting you again Ameer lol

Like the previous sleepovers, prank calls are a must at night. Sometimes we couldnt even laugh anymore because its too funny and getting all giddy. To all the victims that night, apologies eh? Hehe. Then we watched korean movies all day on Tuesday. It was like a korean movie marathon. Cant believe Im saying this. Not much of a korean wit, but they have good and interesting storyline. All the movies we watched has Jang Geun Suk in it. Hes a charming actor.

The days continued with me trying to make my life meaningful, which it doesnt succeed. Being a school leaver does make you think sometimes about what to do everytime you wake up from sleep in the morning. Or is it just being a pest at home?

I need to get a job. Quick!

Wowzers

2010-12-25T23:05:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

So within this month, this is the second post Im writing not at home. This is the third day I am at JB, and also the third day city-sightseeing around Singapore. An unforgettable excursion I'd say, mainly because there were times when we got lost and mostly we were on foot all the time. Very and absolutely tiring. After one fine day of walking, arriving the hotel and having a nice hot bath. Wth.

Universal Studios was fun. Reminisced the moments when I was at Disneyland in France. Not much in common but I surely enjoyed both. Then the next day, was strolling down the Orchard Street, which was very packed with people shopping for Xmas. Its not really fun shopping when we had to cope with Abrar's wailings, not all the time though.

Okay tomorrow back to Rawang. Bye

PTO

2010-12-21T09:43:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

So far, with nothing fascinating happening, just spent the hours on bed reading. While its raining. Thats puree nice isn't? But intimidations do occur, not when you have stuck-up siblings fighting for a pencil or packet of Mamee or rotting-teeth lollipops -.-'

Im still reading this, hoping to finish by today. Same goes to the novel below, the setting is during Hitler's power in Germany, but more to sacrificial love story.

A must read and a must watch. A friendship between a Jew and a pure German boy. It has a sad ending too :'(

YES! THE 2ND SEQUEL OF EVERNIGHT SERIES. ITS WICKEDD XD

About childhood friends, being raised up together. Separated then meet again at London. The storyline is very relaxing.

Conclusion : I WANT TO GO FOR MORE BOOKHUNTING!

Somewhere only we know

2010-12-20T10:40:00.002+08:00

" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - unknown

Salam to all.

GAL means get a life. Yeah I need one. Somehow, it feels the same. Pre-SPM or post-SPM. Freedom isnt the right term. I dont know what freedom means to me. Does freedom means you're allowed to go out with your girlfriends and come back late at night? Does it mean you can go on the internet 24/7 without realizing that the world is somehow ill? Sigh. You see, it clearly shows how weak I am in appreciating what I have in life. No, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but supposedly, my childhood days went through smoothly. Of course, I was an infant and a child, who couldn't care less about the surrounding and all that matters was toys and getting enough food.

I usually ponder and have these thoughts popping into mind, I tried to become a great Caliph to Allah, and why don't I get anything in return? Why must I suffer first before gaining the triumph? Why am I now so immune to failures? Why am I not like my friends whom seldom getting this and that without deserving it? Why do I have the feeling of caring for my friends so much, and that some of them don't even have the slightest idea of what kind of ordeals I'm going through? Why do I have uncertainties? Why does she has all that but she doesnt appreciate it? Why can't some people accept me the way I am? Why cant my loved ones understand my needs as a person?

After going through some thoughts, watching those stuck-ups on TV and muhasabah diri all I can say is, Munirah be thankful with what you have. Just be thankful. Open your eyes, think wisely. God has given what he thinks is sufficient for you. Patience is virtue, being patient will make you feel rewarded with something. You will feel it someday, just waiting for the time to arrive needs patient. Never doubt His ability, I will repeat for myself, NEVER doubt his ability. He knows what is best for his servants.

The reason why I have these thoughts is because I kept on thinking about my luck for the future. Yes, I think beyond the box. I am hope to my parents and my siblings. Is 9A's in my hands? Just pray hard.

DOAKAN KEJAYAAN SAYA WAHAI MANUSIA SEKALIAN :)

Taa.

Oh how I wish

2010-12-15T20:39:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

Here I am at Kulim. I find nothing amusing here. I wasted gallons of time in the hotel, watching whatever programs aired on tv. Tried to read the Holocaust novel I bought from BookXpress, not working either. Okay should be registering for the driving test soon!

I hope to go on a shopping spree someday. Everything needs to be renewed. Jeans, dresses,a new cardigan and lots of shawls! Oh please grant my wishes!

Taa.

Wow

2010-12-11T23:21:00.005+08:00

Somehow Im intrigued . Nak belajar kat Russia tak? SPM cemerlang dulu ye Munirah :)

Gallivanting

2010-12-10T10:51:00.007+08:00

Salam to all.

It is now the fourth day at home, since departing for good from SESERI. The last day itself, I had mixed emotions. Yeah, 8 December was a memoir. I'll never forget.
The day started when I was late for my subuh prayer at surau. By 630 the jemaah prayer had ended. Yeah I was sad, hoping that it would be my last Subuh and last recitation of Al-Mathurat together. Oh well. Pahala 27 tu digantikan dengan pahala solo je. Haha. Then, I didnt feel sleepy in the morning eventhough I slept at 3am the night before, where we had a movie marathon. At first it was just watching Spiderwick Chronicles at TV2 (our bilik tv detests TV3 -.-') with other Bellatrixians. Then after that we watched The Orphanage. After that we watched Angus, Th... Blabla.

In the morning, everyone was busy packing, greeting each other for the last goodbyes. So our plan was to go to Mid Valley, watching a movie or just window shopping. At 10 something, we made our way to Putra and arrived there around 11 because we missed the other train as it was dead packed with poeple --'. Hoping to meet other Seserians there, I guess Mid Valley isnt that big haha. Watched Narnia until 2 something, ate McD then off to MPH. I bought Stargazer! Hee I was so contented that finally I read my wanted novels, without limits. I only had RM40 in me, so it just enough to buy the book. I wanted to buy The Time Travellers Wife, but it was next time then.

Mimo and others had to leave around 3, didnt get to have our proper last goodbyes. My fault, I was too drowned in the midst of books (jakun I know). Sorry Mimo and Adlin and Shakey and Dinie. and to Farah As and Allysha, which we didnt get to meet properly or hangout, sorry guys. So it was just me, Illy, Syahira and Kurt. After 45 minutes, paid for the book and looked for Kurt, which was nowhere to be found. It was time to panic. Told Illy, and we separated ourselves searching for Kurt, and again she was untraceable. Our final decision was, to leave MPH. Who knows we might stumble into her on the way. Then we did! Haha it was such a relief then.

Waited for the train, all exhausted. My legs were aching. The KTM was always packed with people. Arrived at SESERI at 5. It was a long long day. Before entering, we had our last picture at the school's signboard. It was..melancholy. When I reached dorm, it was flipping messy -.-'. With the hangers, papers, bottles everywhere. With my own initiative, yes I spring cleaned the dorm on my own. It looked better after that. Baba came around 7 something. Said goodbyes to Mira Shams and Marjeena. And that was it. Bye SESERI.

Stargazer

2010-11-17T10:21:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

This is a short post, Im doing something quite illegal here lol.

And a short wish from me :

Good Luck and all the best to Bellatrixians and Batch '93!
Make your parents proud and always remember Allah :)

And now, back to the basics. I'll see you in three weeks :)

REVAMP!

2010-11-15T08:59:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

What I'm doing now is quite illegal, according to this house's rule for an exam-taking student like me. I have not touched facebook for almost 3 days now, so what. Its the not big issue is it? Went on the internet just looking some forecast or spot questions or trial papers from different states. I felt the urge of blogging. Kononnya, a last post before I'm taking my SPM which is in 6 days right? Like many other schools, Ssri made the decision that on Friday was the last day for everyone. Before that, a survey was done amongst Bellatrixians on anyone wanting to extend until Tuesday. Of course, I was very firm with myself, hoping that the school allows us to extend. Mainly because I can't study at home. Then in end, we weren't allowed to, me and Atiq was very devastated. So, we have to tightened our semangat then! But for the past few days, peak hours between 10 - 12 pm, is like the time where I get damn sleepy! Even if I'm sitting on the table or on the bed, which worsens the condition. I hate it. I really really hate myself.

Okay back to school's story, on wednesday night, our lovely juniors threw a dorm party for us. It was fun! and I'd say, a memorable night for the seniors. We ate pizza and drank Pepsi. Then played games after that. Each and everyone of us had to do the truth or dare. Which was very stupid. No offence haha.

I had to become 'orang asli' looking for his/her daughter/son. I cracked it. Seriously.

Thanks adik-adikku :)

Genting

2010-11-05T17:46:00.003+08:00

Salam to all..

After a few weeks leaving this shed to dust, finally I could get my vibrating atoms of words to be broken and fly freely. Weeks have already passed, and I didnt realise how time envy people's lives. The final countdown is soo..near right? With this remaining weeks as a Ssrians, I do realise that I have a week left with my juniors. Then, they'll be welcoming their new juniors next year :)

I cant believe Im saying this. Haha.

Finally, our MGP is over and done successfully! I would give my greatest gratitude to our DYMM Tuanku Sultan Pahang for being the main contributor of that particular night. I could see that he had enjoyed our company that night, and it was the night to remember for us Ssrians. It was a new and unforgettable experience for me, seeing my friends in their pretty dresses and most of all, everyone was happy, including our dearest Bonda.

But then again, Im still thinking about the jubah kaftan I wore. When will I ever be wearing it again?

Pictures are up at my FB :)

Taaa :)

Renaissance

2010-09-18T08:25:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

2 days ago, I did mini Open House for schoolfriends. It was nice seeing my friends together again. Dont know when will I be seeing them again. Thanks for coming people! The menu was simple and light. Baked 3 trays of Lasagne and honestly it was not enough =.=' and we did Yong Tau Foo. The kuah was quite spicy. Saw a few of my friends eating with their faced flushed red haha

Its Saturday! Which means, I'll be going back Ssri tomorrow. Packed my bag, not fully but just avoid the hassle. Eventhough 2 weeks felt freaking short, Im glorified to be at home, meeting friends and sleeping longer and many more. So I did my homeworks, incomplete. The rest..is copying.

Trial JPWP is on the 27th, wish me luck people! :)

Thank You and and pleasant day :)

Get A grip ehhh

2010-09-15T10:49:00.007+08:00

Salam to all.

As you can see above, this screenshot is just a way to remind myself. This post is intentionally aimed at myself. If you feel like its aiming at you too, then congrats, you are still possessing the GREAT mind of a being a GREAT person.

WTF.

Ignore above. Now it is the 6th day of raya. Compared to last year, I would have been staying at kampung for a week. Since Opah is staying with us, the kampung was empty on the 1st day of Raya. Then beraya di rumah Ibu at Cheras.
So now my task is just to finish the blady ome'works. I dont think I can finish it.

Who cares haha

bye!

Perfection

2010-09-08T14:31:00.002+08:00

Salam to all

short wish from me,

Jangan lupe text ehhh kengkawan :D

A delightful morning

2010-09-05T17:20:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

Morning's Sequence

I slept at 1 yesterday. Forcing myself again to finish the Sejarah handout. Then about 5 something, Baba woke me up ( I slept alone yesterday, which was fun!) and he was from the mosque with Saufi. Wow, Saufi slept at the mosque with him.

Then went downstairs, for sahur. I dont actually remember what I ate, but one for thing for sure it was chicken. I was dead sleepy that time =.='. The food was prepared by kakak bibik. Long time ago, it was Umi's job to do that but then kakak bibik took over. Went upstairs, performed tahajjud and solat hajat. Waktu mustajab la katakan plus SPM is so near. I was sleepy, but I had the urge to read Al-Quran. It was staring at me on the table and I wanted to complete my mission for this festive season of Ramadhan and that is to khatam Al-Quran! I am getting nearer to the end, and hoping that I'll be able to finish it, before Ramadhan ends. After that, still with the telekung on, laid on the bed, with the kain telekung covering my face and slept for 20 minutes. Woke up again, performed Subuh prayer, then back to sleep! Oh my oh my. I didnt have this bad habit back in Ssri.

Next, woke up again at 8, bathed and got ready for Ust. Zahazan's kuliah. I was very sleepy and reluctant to go that morning. My bad =.='. Umi's first trial of waking me up, I continued snoozing on the bed with the pillow covering my face. Next trial, I slept on the floor, with the towel as my 'pillow'. 3rd time, I got fed up, went to the bathroom and the floor was DRY. So ladies and gentlemen, I sat on the floor above the shower head, covered my face with the towel and snoozed for lets say, 5-6 minutes? Haha.

The kuliah was funnnn. Liked it. At first I made an assumption that, due to my condition of being so sleepy, I would fall asleep. But indeed, I was definately wrong :)

I enjoyed it, listened to every word that he said and jotted down important notes, thanks Umi for all those rants made in the morning. It was worth it :)

Selamat Berbuka!

Terima Kasih

2010-09-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

Salam to all.

Just saying my highest gratitude to a muslim novelist Fatimah Syarha. I was and still deeply touched by her words,phrases..everything in the book made me realize that small things make a big difference. She changed the skepticism in me, towards humanity and race. Only Allah knows how I feel.

It also brought me closer to Allah. Thanks Fatimah Syarha :)

Paramour

2010-08-29T01:10:00.003+08:00

Salam to all.

It is now, 111 am in the morning. Still, my eyes are currently fresh for the night. Since after I came back from raya shopping spree, slept until 6 oclock. See, I dont have that kind of habit back in Seseri. Im always organised, when it comes to managing time at dorm or during prep. But sometimes, after a one tiring day of rushing up and down to classes, I tend to feel very sleepy in class or at dorm. So a friend that sits beside or the opposite would play a big role just make sure that I get enough sleep, the least is 5 minutes! 5 minutes, to be frank is quite long. Thanks to my dear classmates! Love you guys dearly :D

Somehow, this year, I dont actually feel the raya spirit lingering in me. Its like the 19th day of Ramadhan already, usually shopping malls would have started playing raya tunes just to fulfill the customers mood and hinting that raya is just around the corner. Asked nina, why I have that kind of feel, she said maybe because SPM is like 87 days left? The number used to be doubled, now lessens. As a not-so-bright student, I do feel the tense. Not only SPM, SBP trial is not showing any good sign that the future ahead me is bright. The papers, God Knows how hard it is.
I have experience many failures, even before the trials. The failures made me so strong that somehow it triggers me to force and hardened myself. Not easily giving in to things that might distort my effort. So yeah, I must admit, I was strong. Cried for certain times, but words that touched my heart kept me going. This is one big journey for me, eventhough some people might think that SPM is nothing or SPM is just a start. I need a good start.

It made me realize how tough life can be when youre in a boarding school, with all the pressure that you need to withstand. Maintaining your performance in your studies, honestly its not easy when you are not born genius. Peer pressure is another thing, to see your friends that once was always at the bottom, then suddenly they are rising, proving to the world that 'I can do it!'. Yeah, look on the bright side and get motivated. Everytime after I performed solat, I will always pray for my friends success, and I hope they pray for me too. Allah gives me all these ordeals and yet I understood why hes testing me in such a big way that gives impact in the inside, but I always remember what Umi says, whatever hardships I faced, always be thankful to Allah, show to him that we accept his reward, either good or bad, he knows the best. He knows where Im at in the next 20 years, he has already planned my map of life. Therefore, and in a nut shell, always be confident in Allah and insyAllah I'll find my way soon.

Maybe blogging is one the stress-releasing medium I need. Before, 'disappointment' is like cancer cells in our body. They do exist, but not activated. So does the disappointment in me. So I feel better I guess , when Im at home, seeing everyone happy to be one family again.

Then tomorrow, back to basics again :( Its okay, theres still 2 months left to live in hostel life. Ill miss it badly, miss all the fun moments I had with my dormmates and classmates, esp this year eventhough we were beaten up badly by them..

Happy Belated Birthday to my all-time listener Aimi Syahirah Azmi :) Sayang kau :)

Night everyone,
0200am