عايشه منيرة

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Rawang, Malaysia
A living flesh with a soul made of glass.

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Comeback




It's almost midnight, just less an hour we bid farewell to 2016. Its been months since this personal space of mine was updated. I am far behind, I guess.

Few years back, around this time I would be locked up in room digesting the never ending slides/lecture notes. Studying for the upcoming exam papers. New year is just like, meh. Nothing special or new. Even if its a public holiday, the guilt of not trying hard enough to finish all the chapters for each subject kills you until you are finally done. This flashback makes me miss the student life back then. Its just so different now. I didn't expect the post-undergraduate life would be this difficult. For every decision you make, becomes a chain reaction of what's gonna happen next. It affects other people too, with or without their acknowledgement.

It needs a lot of hard work, a lot of trying. That's how I dealt the situation. I can't give up. Recalling back those hard times, it hit me rock bottom but I didn't just stop there. I kept on going. This time, it shouldn't be any different. I'm miles away from reaching my dream, but somehow Allah is telling me that I should be at the spot where I am now. Its never for a naught. If this is the time where I can invest a lot for my akhirah, inshaAllah I am up for the challenge. Allah is making me stronger, day by day. I'm quite amazed at myself for sticking through those crappy times. It affected me so bad, that people would come up to me and expressed their concerns on my physical appearance and how my face doesn't even look like a face. I personally think that it deserves to be punched. Sigh

Despite having all of this never ending doubts running in my head, I have to look what's around me. I have to be thankful that I am employed. I have to be grateful that my colleagues trust my abilities to do this and that. Even if its far fetched from what I've been studying for degree, I believe that someday the skills I obtained will be useful and applicable. Allah is providing me the channel to do good, to contribute for the ummah and He granted my du'a/wish to work with these people. My passion for biological science will never fade and I will still pursue my dreams, even if it comes a long way.

So 2016 is an interesting year for me.
I get to do some travelling, went to interviews, submitted resumes and faced multiple rejections, met new people and bonded with those whom I can call sisters, met my ex-HOD who had taught me a lot on the useful life skills and still remaining in touch with her, had my UM convocation and my dear parents was there to witness it, moved on from someone who never had the slightest idea that I existed in his life.

I came across a quote that sounded something like this, 

'When Allah takes someone that you love away from you, He will replace it with someone even better that you yourself cant even imagine'

I guess this is happening to me right now. And I am ever so thankful to Allah :)





Nothing much I could ask or hope for, but for all the good things to happen. Never stop praying to the One that will grant it. May Allah guide me always.

Lillahi ta'ala :)


اِنَّ صَلاَتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي ِﷲِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Indeed my prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allaah, Lord of the worlds.


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